It’s Wednesday, January 4th 2017 and I’m reclined back on the exam table. I work for Kaiser Permanente, but it looks different from the view of a patient than an employee.   I rested my arms at my side, swathed in my favorite charcoal gray cashmere sweater, and let my knee-high leather boots tilt from side-to-side like windshield wiper blades. I didn’t look around and stared straight above at the ceiling tiles, just wanting to make it through. I groaned upon seeing the happy happy joy joy images on the ceiling tiles directly above me.   I felt anything but at ease while looking at a butterfly flitting about and red tulips. I don’t know what would make me feel better, but these are too bright,…