Angels and I
Posted on October 29, 2018
I was recently a client of Jess Lively for a recorded client session. Over the past few years I became transfixed with her very public sharing of her path moving from Values based Intentions Jewelry Business and Business Coach, to Law of Attraction, to Quantum Physics and using the mind as a point of attraction, to where she is now – moving beyond the mind. She chronicled this all on her podcast: The Lively Show.
I’d listen in awe as rather than show up in a public forum, with my own name, I joined a few very private forums to explore what was opening up inside of me, to then the social site: Experience the Project. I used the butterfly nebula as my profile picture and I used the name of the main protagonist in Glow: Luxiel. I was anonymous and I needed that.
My client session with Jess is on her podcast and you can listen here. It’s long, about 2 hours, but the first half is me sharing my story as Jess overlays with her understanding between the mind and “outside of the mind” (I call this soul). It was interesting to see how she could bring a language to what I was ping-ponging with in these moments of revelation with this other aspect of myself. An aspect I had not developed nor nurtured, let alone listened to, for most of my life. As a clinical pharmacist and informaticist I can be rational and logical to a fault. I shut many things out or pushed them down until it all spilled out and I had to reconcile my new found experiences with what I previous knowledge of.
One thing she said has stuck with me as I shared that while on the site Experience the Project was that my mind was given a safe space so it retreated more and allowed my natural self, my gifts and abilities, as much as desires and dreams to surface.
I can see that clearly now. But at the time I was so concerened that I was going crazy.
While I enjoyed my time spent there espousing about anything from being spiritual but not religious, talking about angels, meeting folks from all over the world and sharing our stories, I realized we have more in common than differences. I remained mostly anonymous. A few I’m still in contact with. But many still know me as Anachel or Luxiel/Lux rather than my given name from that site. Unfortunately, the site isn’t active anymore nor can you access the thousands of stories shared there.
In the second half of podcast you’ll hear Jess play the role of my mind as I only answer from my inner voice (inner being/intuition). About halfway through the second half, a little nugget surfaced that I didn’t realise was something I was holding back.
It’s the fact that angel is central with my path and how I’ve been guided and that I’ve been avoiding sharing my every-day connection with angels.
Sure, I have my inner GPS, my intuition, my mentors and others who happen along my path and share something needed at the exact moment I need it. But it’s equally true that from the moment I saw the gold angel pendant that started the idea to write a story about angels to this moment now where I am nudged to help others connect with angels, angels have guided and helped me.
Angels are messengers of the Divine and, honestly, have been present in many facets documented throughout history but have been removed or minimized so as to not confuse worship of the Divine with messengers of the Divine. It’s important to connect in anyway that feels right for you.
Years ago, I read all the stories that weren’t include in various doctrines that share how they’ve been a link, a bridge with one’s own divinity. And then I expanded from my own loose Christian roots to see how they’re present in many beliefs systems with their own name. I’m sharing this because it’s not new; angels helping humans is as old as time.
A couple of weeks after the podcast, I kept hearing or seeing in my minds eye Angel Academy. After listening to a different podcast by Rachel Hollis the the interviewee said Influencer Academy but of course, I heard Angel Academy and felt the tingles over my body. Those tingles are resonance. Pay attention to resonance, folks!
I, finally, payed attention and jotted this down in my notes on my iPhone on 10.9.18. Then during my spiritual/biz coach session that month I brought it up as I felt it meant I was to re-engage with Glow and get her finished. While that is true, it was about something entirely different.
Part of my purpose in being me is to share my story with angels. Not Glow, but the one that’s been written tandem to my journey as I live this story.
I was skeptical. I don’t have the extensive experience as say Doreen Virtue (I read most of her angel books back when I was trying to make sense of things. She has since moved on and is more of a fundamental Christian) or Kyle Gray – a.k.a. the Angel Whisperer.
But me? I have doubts. Half the time I still wonder what I believe. I know it’s my mind still trying to grasp what the other part of me knows and needs no proof other than how they’ve shown up in my life.
I didn’t realize how much I’ve been dialing down. In saying that though I am reminded of the moment I told my then writing/life coach in 2015 that even if someone directly asked me if I have a connection to angels I’d say no. Right to their face.
Why you ask? Because I’ve been in the endless loops of conversations where someone is bound and determined to tell me that they do not exist. Notice how I mentioned nothing of my trying to get another to believe? Because I don’t. We believe what we believe and there is beauty in how certain truths have unfolded for each of us.
But angel started it all. Well, love then angel. But that usually how it begins.
You love. You open. You connect. They come to help with your reentry with the Divine. The purpose to help you remember who you are as you reconnect and allow yourself to become the living spirit that you are meant to become. They nudge, float feathers on the wind, whisper you to go left when you’re absolutely stuck going right.
Do we have our own inner voice and spirit that guides. You betcha. Is prayer important, of course. But we also have guides to the Divine. And while angel is what I call them, you can use whatever term you like.
One of my spiritual mentors, who has since passed on, used to tell me all the time how I needed to move passed the angel thing. That they’re not real and more of the human condition than spirit. And in the very next breath he’d tell me of the shiny people that appeared to him in his moments of need.
I could only chuckle. Angels. Shiny People. Devas. Kachinas. It doesn’t matter the term. The point is you’re opening yourself up to allow this connect to exist.
However, this is something that’s been knocking at my door and perhaps its time to share so that others can connect to how I view the angels. As it’s not the same as others. But it’s still an inherent connection we need to respark to help us on our way, if resonant.
My current spiritual biz coach said in my October session that I’ll be given signs and affirmations.
The next day, while walking along the Columbia River I asked if I truly am to be an angel guide. I was like, “Me? Really? I’m not sure I can do it.”
A few minutes later I felt the need to turn to my left and I saw a white feather floating on the breeze. It floated in front of me and up to the grassy bank by the road. I run that same path about 3 times a week. I’ve been out there for over 6 years and I’ve never seen a feather on the breeze. I’ve seen cotton or the little wishes from dandelions.
I also was like, “I need a picture! Proof!” I actually did get one. I have an Angel IG story video highlight you can watch. My handle is: Kristy_maffit or you can click here.
Of course, skeptics will say, “So?” or “How do we know it’s a feather.” And you know what. That’s okay. It’s okay to question. I welcome it. I’ve been questioning myself and all that has happened to me the past decade.
I’m not here to convince anyone of anything. I’m here to share my story. And for those curious or who are already grappling with changes in their life and need a safe place to land.
You’ve found it here.
I plan on creating a community for folks who are going through similar things I went through years ago when I came to the internet to find answers, connect and feel safe grappling with the changes and experience unfolding in my life. I don’t know how it will look, I just know I’m ready to be what I needed years ago for others. With my actual name and picture ;)