This little light of yours…
Posted on October 23, 2017
So, it’s come up more recently that I help lead folks to themselves. Not sure that’s a thing, but for the sake of this piece, we’re going to land right there.
Thrice this week the following has showed up in my social media feed in one way or another:
“Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?”
I ask, “who are you??” Have you begun to peel back the layers?
I prefer to say guide and shy away from leader because we’re all leaders. We all lead our life and should be at the helm.
I know firsthand the life you can end up living in a lather-rinse-repeat like existence when you hand over your power to others to guide for you.
Note: It’s also true that there are spheres that you have no control over, however, first we gotta start within and ignite your power. Then, collectively, we’ll work on the outer spheres for which each of us is a part.
Once we have that inner power wielded, authentically and conciously, one – you won’t need to oppress another for whatever reason to feel empowered and two – you can pass it along to others.
Think of a candle lighting another. There’s a ripple effect.
The more we all are able to step to this, the more we really can affect change. And we all know, deeply within, or perhaps resting atop the surface, that our world is messy right now.
Alright, I wasn’t going to say it, but … fucked. I hesitate to say fucked as I don’t want to use up my get-outta-jail-free-fbomb card so early, but it’s true. And I ended up using it anyway.
Hurting and fucked. Majorly. Just like we each are. Shocked? It’s called life. We also have a whole and blessed side, but more on that later.
I usually try to stay on the side of hope, yet I also believe that until we stare directly into the belly of the beast, we won’t rise above. Together.
The environment, political climate, social interaction and connection, educational systems, religion/ spirituality, as well as systems of oppression knitted into the very fabric we emerged from are decaying and in need of reform.
Just like each of us needs to destroy who we became when we let the world tell us who we are and then rebuild remembering our light; who we each are on the inside first.
If we change oneself, then harness the power of ALL, we can change the tides that have caught us in the undertow.
You don’t need me to lead you. You can lead yourself.
Each one of us, not a select gifted few, are able to tap into wisdom and guidance from the inside out.
We each know.
Yes, some of us – myself included—have a natural finger on this pulse, but it would be hugely egotistic to think this is about me or what I do.
I’m a link. A messenger. I simply reflect back that which is already within you.
And I’m damn good at it.
I’m working on an online course to help with what I’ve learned. As I’m just like y’all trying to figure out this messy blessed life I lead.
But I’m ready to guide. It’s part of who I am before I let the world tell me to sit down and shut the hell up and seek on the outside for answers.
I’ve flipped that narrative and now seek from the inside out, while living into the answers or knowing them as they guide my way ;)
A few things…
I’ve lost and regained the same 10-20 lbs over the past 7 years. I’m ahead right now, but I embrace the mess and muffin top ;) I also like to run and eat kale. Balance.
The past month, I searched endlessly for affordable plane tickets for my daughter and I. We need to hop on a jet plane for Christmas with family on the opposite coast. I was seeking to find the best deal and finally purchased a steal Saturday morning. Only to realize that the ONLY time I must’ve transposed the airports I also hit buy and dropped $$$ on tickets going the wrong way. Yep, heading West rather than from the West.
Motherfucker is right. I now know to wait until after coffee or at least double checking what the eff the airport acronym means and if they’re in the right destination box.
Oh yeah, I swear. I also pray. I don’t find the two mutually exclusive nor negating each other. Simply, the reality in being human.
I’m single. I don’t know why I share that other than if you think I have it all figured out, I don’t. Not by a long shot.
I’m divorced, too. This may help with being single in that I did try. I threw myself into a relationship at age 20 and stuck it out about 12 years. I have a beautiful daughter that is proof that while somethings aren’t made to last, those connections can birth the eternal. She is embodied love.
I still hurt from my divorce mainly because it’s representative of something deeper: The pain I incurred from divorcing from my true self so as to “survive” in this messy blessed world.
But I’m rewriting the pain, word-by-word; day-by-day.
I’m mystical and spiritual. But I also believe that the way I make breakfast, interact with folks and how I share myself in ordinary life is just as much a part of being spiritual and how I experience the divine as meditation, prayer or love.
If all are one, then how I treat and interact with each of one’s own is interacting with ONE’s own. Read that line again. Let it settle into your subconscious. Don’t try and hold it with your logical mind.
You have an all-encompassing part of your mind that already knows and feels it all.
You have another that distills this experience we call life into tags and categories, arranging things linearly to help with comprehension and understanding.
Both aspects are needed. Knowing and knowledge.
I also have a Doctor of Pharmacy degree. I literally utilize boolean logic for my day-job. I share this not to elevate myself, but let you know that I’m not some airy-fairy-rainbow-breathing-unicorn (not that there’s anything wrong with folks who align with such) who simply believes in miracles and magic.
Nah, I found my way there through the crash course in reacquainting myself with my inner true self. She is light and love and fierce and strong; willing to wade in the dark.
Just like swearing and prayer, the human is necessary for being just as the being guiding the human.
We’re meant to straddle this paradox as the contrast leads to growth and expansion into the soul or spirit we already are.
It’s like remembering to know what already is.
I share my shadow and struggles above just as much as my light as I’m not perfect, but I am the perfectly imperfect human being I’m meant to be.
So I ask again, “ Who are you?”
If you don’t know the answer, you’re ready.
If you’ve answered with descriptions of what you DO rather than you already are when you let yourself BE. You’re ready too, you just have a few guideposts to work around ;)
Now, about that little light of yours… I’d be honored to be your guide.