One day when the light is glowing, I’ll be in my castle golden, but until the gates are open, I just wanna feel this moment… 

 

I’ve previously lamented about the ever elusive someday in, A Tiny Thousand Nows. You know, that golden future filled with all the possibilities I allow myself to imagine. The passed few weeks have been all too familiar , work-work-work or  lather-rinse-repeat, an endless cycle of Chronos (chronological mundane time).  However, I’ve wrangled up a few tiny thousand nows where I was able to pause amidst the chaos called life, to feel the depth of a moment OR make a funny face in the CVICU employee bathroom; that’s what 6 hours of back-to-back meetings will do! As my to-do list grows endlessly and social engagements fill up my calendar, I long for the simpler times where my phone wasn’t a computer, camera and Social Media sucking device; where it rang rather than buzzed from text messages; where we gathered in intimate circles and drank glasses of wine rather than chat rooms and comment boxes. While the World Wide Web and Social Media outlets provide a sense of connectedness, and it does in a sense, I find myself longing for tangible connections. Last week I wrote this piece sharing my love for another writer whose nuggets of wisdom have brought a few golden moments as I reflect on being divorced and single. Austin didn’t simply write thank you or send such sentiment on Facebook, he sent me a voice message, “So it was more personal” said Mr Trouble. That really touched me as I realized that so much of that is missing; the personal. I shared a little love and a little love was reflected back.

Inner Light

Photo Credit Momastery

I used to worry about being too personal, that what I write wouldn’t reach out any farther than my circle of friends or those with similar experiences. But then as I read more bloggers, writers and friends, I realized that while we all differ in the details, we all want the same thing; to be accepted and loved for who we are, our imperfections embraced and the compassion and empathy as we find our way in this experience of life through the ever observing journey of spirit.

 

All too often the differences divide. All too often we’re too busy to listen to what another shares, to hold space and not fill with advice, but be there. Open, unassuming and present in our presence. Sometimes life has its own rhythm and we can get caught up in the hectic flow of Chronos. However, in the passed few years I’ve learned to listen to my inner voice when I feel myself pushing too hard to move through. I know that it’s in those moments, I  have to pause and really appreciate this breath of life I am living now. Forgetting about the ever elusive someday and the pace of the rat race.

 

 

“Believe in today, your life is NOW”

 

Sometimes my nows get captured and shared on Instagram. While it can be another place where I can just tick away the seconds looking at all the glossy pretty photos and happy blissful moments, I have to admit, it’s also given me the opportunity to, every now-and-again, stop and focus while taking in a tiny thousand now in the realm of life; freezing it as a polaroid in time. That peace pause is pure Kairos, or God’s mystical time; unwinding into that rhythm used to feel unfamiliar, but now it feels as it should be, not a different tempo but the one where my heart pulses in sync.

 

signaturesmall

 

Echinacea, taken outside our employee parking garage.

Echinacea, taken outside our employee parking garage.

My daughter drinking a green summer smoothie.

My daughter drinking a green summer smoothie.

 

Making faces in the CVICU bathroom mirror.

Making faces in the CVICU bathroom mirror.

 

Standing in the fire lane.

Standing in the fire lane.

'lil ladybug

‘lil ladybug making her journey.

 

Writing whilst wearing new beaded cuff.

Writing whilst wearing new beaded cuff.

 

My silly weimaraner, Bentley.

My silly weimaraner, Bentley.

 

Reflections along the Columbia River.

Reflections along the Columbia River, my lunch time is often spent here.