Sharing the Love: Austin Blood and The Unfiltered Truth
Posted on July 12, 2013
I thought I’d share my love of this man who has entered my life and is just fabulous. Haha, okay, maybe it’s better to say that along with 24,000 other women, I adore this fellow writer/single-parent/divorcee/Truth teller. Don’t let his good looks, dimples or piercingly blue eyes trick you as while he’s attractive, he’s also trouble with a capital T. I told him so on his Facebook page, for which he promptly agreed with me and shared this piece Project Mayhem, but don’t be fooled by the title as there’s more to Austin Blood than meets-the-eye, he ends that playful piece with this gleaming nugget of Truth.
“The famous Irish playwright, George Bernard Shaw, once wrote that youth is wasted on the young. I couldn’t agree more. Our formative years find us at our peak physically but in the valley emotionally. Our inexperience, ignorance and immaturity causes us to behave in ways we often regret later in life. Thankfully, the silver lining is that the mistakes we make can become the bedrock of wisdom and maturity if we’re smart enough to learn from the error of our ways.” ~Austin Blood
I first read his writing after clicking into a featured Huffington Post article The Chaos of Fatherhood in my Facebook newsfeed. If the picture of he and his daughter wasn’t heart melting enough, his detailing of the difficulties he’s faced with fatherhood since being divorced won me over. It wasn’t until the end of the piece though, that he shot straight to my heart with the below comment.
“For a guy like me, it takes being on my own to realize what an amazing set of abilities many mothers intuitively and naturally possess. Compassion, attentiveness and patience are merely the start. Take it from a guy who’s recently learned the hard way; being a responsible, loving caretaker or mother is easily one of the most underrated yet important jobs in the world. For this reason, the nurturing instinct with which many women are blessed deserves to be cherished and validated at every opportunity. Because fifty years from now, it won’t matter what kind of car we drove or what the balance in our bank account was, but there’s a high probability the world will be a better place because a woman was important in the life of a child.” ~Austin Blood
Here’s the photo that accompanied his featured piece:
I can feel the collective “Awwwwwe” y’all just exhaled. The thing is, this man is real and IS sharing the unfiltered truth. If you follow his website, Facebook page, or on Instagram, you’ll know that he doesn’t shy away from what he wants to say. He just says it and let’s you do with it as you please. I feel he’s saying things many want to hear, and in hearing such providing healing. He describes himself as a self-proclaimed promoter of all things female, and I’ll admit, I just thought he figured out his niche and sell. To explain, author Daniel Pink writes in his book To Sell is Human that sales underlies all human interaction, as there is an intent to move another . There is truth in that for writers, as when we write and share, often our motivation is to place a seed, an idea, that in turn changes or strengthens the course of the readers’ trajectory. After a bit, I realized that Austin Blood isn’t selling anything other than the fact that he, like everyone else, is navigating his journey and sharing from his bedrock of wisdom a few nuggets of Truth he’s collected along the way. Here are a few of his articles I especially like:
Dating after Divorce, the D.A.D Chronicles, as a fellow divorcee and single-parent, I can appreciate his words here. He is a little farther along that path than I as the thought of dating still makes me nauseous, something I feel many can relate to. I haven’t dated at all. Yup, you read that right, none since divorce. Dating after splitsville is daunting, add kiddos to the mix, and it’s a whole new game; not the same game we were all playing when we first met that someone who is now the “ex”. Austin tackles topics such as when to introduce your kids to the new woman (or man), just how long it takes before the honeymoon wears off in a new relationship and when things get real, as well as the simple fact that dating after divorce is a shared vulnerability binge none of us especially want, but know it’s necessary to get to the other side.
“When it comes to dating after divorce, it ain’t all about you or me but it IS all about the kids. Specifically, what is best for them so that they come through the divorce with the least amount of scarring and disruption to their lives as possible… Do your kids a favor and keep them in the dark about your love life. Both during and in the aftermath of the divorce. I’m talking total blackout. No exceptions, no deviations. If there’s one thing that raises Blood’s blood pressure to aneurysm-inducing levels, it’s watching supposedly mature adults act like emotionally-stunted, love-sick teenagers while their poor kids bear witness to mom or dad’s sideshow train-wreck of a dating life.” ~Austin Blood
Complement not Complicate, in this article he provides practical advice for women looking for a man or perhaps the epicenter for why previous relationships have not worked out. The thing with his advice, it works both ways, in my opinion. He often is spurred to write pieces after his interactions with the women who follow his Facebook Page. This was his response to a woman asking how to “blow a man’s mind”. There’s nothing here we women don’t know, but I think hearing it, from a man, makes all the difference.
Fact #1: Most men are simple creatures by nature. Contrary to popular belief, what the average guy looks for in a woman isn’t all that complex. If you give him some respect, a little affection, space when he needs it and make sure to polish the one-eyed trouser snake occasionally, you’ll soothe the savage beast ninety-percent of the time.
Fact #2: Understand and internalize the fact that you ultimately can’t control or change a man. This is an irrefutable fact. You might think you can but you’ll only be fooling yourself. This means you can’t make a man love you. You can’t make him commit. You can’t make him spend more time with you and you certainly can’t make him more emotionally sensitive or more attentive to your needs. Hell, you can’t even make him call or text you if he doesn’t want to. In short, you can’t change much, if anything, about him at all. So for your own sanity, do yourself a favor and don’t even try. Now, sometimes you can elicit short-term behavioral changes by manipulating him but overall, people just don’t change unless they want to. ~Austin Blood
A Memo to Single and Divorced Moms is his latest piece. He tackles the difficulties in moving through the divorce process and how, in most cases, it doesn’t bring out the best of both parties. Sharing this neuroscience fact “if you look at cranial CAT scans of people going through a nasty breakup, you’ll often find serious synaptic deficiencies in areas of the brain responsible for judgment, common sense and relational intelligence. “ Well that helps explain a bit of the difficulty surrounding divorce. The section about what it feels like when the other woman is introduced to your child resonated deeply with me. I’ve been put in the situation and never have I felt such conflicting emotions stir. I’ll admit this one hit me by surprise as it was especially hard wrestling with the presence of another female figure in my daughter’s life, one who didn’t respect and honor the boundary of mother and child but wanted to be her mom. Yes, I realize I’m divorced but that means my relationship with her father was to change, not the sacred bond of a mother and her daughter.
“As a newly single mom, few things in life can be more difficult than the first time another woman swoops in and starts spending time with YOUR precious offspring. Just knowing another woman is ‘playing house’ with your kids can be the emotional equivalent of a gut punch to the uterus. Even if you’re relatively secure, the hideous specter of self-doubt can rear its ugly head and shake your confidence to its core…
When it comes to your relationship with your children, the last thing in the world you have to worry about is being upstaged or replaced by another woman.
Assuming you are a loving and involved parent, no one is going to swoop in at the eleventh hour and unravel the bond you and your children have spent a lifetime building. One of the most beautiful things about kids is the way in which they love. Children don’t have a limited or finite supply of love or affection. Kids are fully capable of giving of themselves and just living in the present moment” ~Austin Blood
He rides a Harley, he’s a writer and he shares the unfiltered truth, le sigh, just so you know ladies, he’s single but there are about 23,999 other women in line ;) You can follow him on Facebook, Instagram or subscribe to his website for updates when he publishes new articles. Either way, I hope you enjoy Mr
Blood Trouble as much as I do.