Sparkling Horse Shit
Posted on May 28, 2013
So, I’m not sure how many of you have a blog, but there are some cool background tools available to one who does. With features like tags, categories, a dashboard, and stats, one can track how many people view your posts, what brings them to your site, the articles that are the most popular, the different related topics of interest to the reader, and the visitor’s home country coloring a world map indicating the wingspan of the World Wide Web. One of the funniest, however, is the section that lists internet search terms resulting in blog views. Last week while checking my dashboard I noticed a search query that resulted in immediate laughter; the kind that results in tears and bellyaching.
The title of this post comes from such a query. Yes, you guessed it, Sparkling Horse Shit.
“Wow,” I thought, “I’ve hit blogosphere gold!” I immediately posted this monumental event on Facebook and was met with responses inquiring how that would lead to my blog, followed by laughter and smiley emoticons. “Who would google such a thing?” my friends and family wondered.
A few seconds later I mused the same thing while simultaneously googling the terms. Holy crap (pun intended) you wouldn’t believe, or perhaps you would, I won’t judge. I did a little searching and by
page 25 a few pages in I was wondering just how much persistence led to my blog as I still had not found the link between the two. Rather than continue down that trail, I decided to grab a few notable mentions and share with y’all. You can totally thank me later!
One of the first sparkly finds was this lovely pic complete with wafts of rainbow scent coming off what is considered Unicorn Poop. This is a cookie, really, I’m not kidding. You can find the recipe here. I have to admit as a girl of the 80’s coupled with my adoration of My Little Ponies and Rainbow Bright, I’m surprised I’ve never tried to figure out how to bake such a confection let alone consider what it may look like. This is genius.
I have to admit, I’ve loved unicorns since I was a little girl. My seventh birthday was complete with a musical plush unicorn and a baseball shirt emblazoned with “I’m Seven” on the back and a glorious foil iron-on of a sparkly unicorn adorning the front. The following pic fills me with nostalgia as I reminisce. I wonder if a sparkly unicorn is needed for a sparkling rainbow pile. Either way, smile, there’s a sparkling unicorn below!
On a more serious note, I feel it is my professional obligation to inform you of this wonderful gem, pills that can turn your poop sparkly with precious gold flecks. This is serious business, gilded poop, I mean wow!!! Someone actually invented a capsule that you can take, for a mere $425 a pop, resulting in jewels for the porcelain throne. Just when I think mankind has invented it all, something new hits the fan and I’m forced to concede that so many discoveries have yet to be shared. If you’re curious, read the article here.
You just have to laugh at these things, I mean you read about famed authors indicating the importance of just sitting and writing a shitty first draft, but who would have thought a blog would fall to similar fame? In the year and change that I’ve been blogging, I’ve come to think of each post like a mini first draft. Each begins with an idea flash that you flesh out, add a few pictures, check grammar and, finally, polish it up by adding biblio-nourishment through words that pack a physical, as well as emotional punch, drawing the reader in. It may seem like there’s a great Wizard of Oz behind the mysterious blog veil. However, I just checked, he’s so not here. Most often, it’s simply those of us who dream of writing the Great American Novel (or a fun one like Glow) and come here to the blogosphere to connect, take shot after shot of
preferably vodka trying to churn out a piece that reflects the initial idea, shining one’s own twinkle light in cyberspace.
I just never thought it would be sparkling horse shit that brings all of y’all to the blog…er, the one of you, that is ;) If you’re curious as to just what spurred this wonderful post, I believe it was this post with the “Keep calm and sparkle on” image . On that note I’ll leave you with my new moto: I love sparkly shit, yo!