The Tipping Point: I Finally Did It!
Posted on July 15, 2012
“Some nights, I stay up cashing in my bad luck
Some nights, I call it a draw
Some nights, I wish that my lips could build a castle
Some nights, I wish they’d just fall off”
~Fun: Some Nights
Hello there! This is a Renaissance Redux as “The Tipping Point” was my first blog post ever. I feel a renewal with blogging as My Renaissance Life has a new look. I thought it would be fun to retrace some steps, share my beginning as it’s been about half a year since I forayed into the blogosphere. To say it’s been a journey of ups and downs would be an understatement. So often I wonder “Why am I doing this again?” The silent answer soon surfaces, because you’re giving form to your voice, one you’ve held at bay for so long. But blogging has been more than writing, it’s more than posting a word count with pretty pictures adding visual words to the count, it’s more than being read, it’s creating, tapping into the inner forces that help me thrive through anything. They say you’re only good as your latest blog posts. I have to admit, I don’t like that. I don’t like that at all. It’s like only letting one day be the day you’re defined. It doesn’t allow growth, or change. Which is truly what I’ve felt in the last 6 months. I’ve induced tears from sharing, peels of laughter, silent reflections, wistful smiles…and I’m not just talking about me ;) I was sucessfull 6 times in not saving an adobe polished image that works on the world wide web, some may call that failure. A fellow blogger encourages us to fail harder. I agree, I believe in running the hills. In pushing our boundaries of comfort, expanding our minds, our awareness of all that is possible if we just try and keep trying not thinking about the outcome, where the yellow brick road will lead, but keep at it. Allowing ourselves to be successful in how not to do it until it’s not trying, it’s doing and ultimately, as we are dynamic beings of change with an unparalleled ability to adapt and learn, growing during these phases of contraction and expansion. I’m here, expressing myself and reaping the expansion of happiness. It all started with me listening to that inner voice and letting her soar free. Life is too short to sit it out, get in there, consider giving form to whatever silently speaks to you when you may be too busy to listen until you finally do. You never know where that golden road of possibility will lead or the sites along the way. It’s like being a child again, where the world is your oyster and you the forming pearl.
Tipping point is defined as the point at which a series of small ineffective changes acquires enough pressure or importance to cause a larger, more significant change.
Difference is not indicative of change; change is the unfolding of self, revealed through the snowflake-patterned expression of ones soul.
“When I think of where to start, I don’t know where to begin. Paralyzed with the frustration of trying to get it down “right”, I don’t even begin. I’ve gone through the years accumulating “how to write” books and journals…twenty of the most beautiful leather bound or fancifully decorated hard backed journals, full of promising pages for which my eloquent script does not adorn. The whole of my problem is in the thinking itself. I censor and hold back for I’m afraid to share, not only the events from the last few years,but the combination of my childhood years, my adolescence and this emerging woman’s new life… all three blended comprise this multidimensional being who has a Truth to share.
It wasn’t so hard to let go three years ago… there were a string of wonderful moments where I allowed my pen to write and my lap top keys to tap away not even realizing what I was expressing. Until I stepped back and realized I had written the beginnings of a story. While sipping my iced soy latte I smiled within realizing that finally I had something I wanted to share, for the pulse of the story was alive and I was merely capturing its essence.
One of Love, Compassion, Grace, Angels here on Earth with the heavenly realms guiding above and that we truly are not alone.
Often that which leaves one the loneliest is the part of oneself many have not made the acquaintance of. And that is my story, my path and journey for which I’ll share. I’ve been getting to know her and yet she’s always known me. I’ve learned that what think I know is in direct contrast to what I know yet could not have known when logic and rational thoughts paint the picture.
There is a part of me, a silent half, that up until I finally surrendered, came out. Whether singing to animals as a little girl or the knowing of how others felt for I felt it myself not understanding why I felt so, leaving me confused. It came out in poetry-the silent musings at night by candle glow in High School,where I was whispering to myself. In that I have always known of my slumber, just as she, my silent half, knows me. But I wasn’t ready until grown. For just like the lighter used to illuminate my tapers, pillars and waxen fillers… I too needed my own spark for I had lived so long muted all while allowing what others said about me and to me, define me. It wasn’t until I realized that I define myself and the meaning is more than simple words, for it’s felt and thus an essence inherently known.”
~Excerpt of A Renaissance Glow
What I’ve shared above is a rough snip-it from one of the books I’m working on. Yes, one of; as up there within the little glimpse of A Renaissance Glow, lies the beginnings of another, a Young Adult Urban Fantasy titled Glow.
About three years ago I opened my mind up to the possibility of writing a story as I’ve wanted to write my whole life. While I have many poems that I’ve shared with a select few, most of that creativity has been untapped until I had one of those moments you read about (you know the stars align, time stops and the only thing you feel is your heart beating). Events seemed to fall into place and I found myself musing about writing a YA novel. Some of you who know me well would be doing the math and realizing that I had a baby then as well as working full-time. But I also had a stay-at-home father that allowed the space for me to read a few pivotal books that help plant the seed. I hadn’t read a good book in years and picked up this book called “Twilight” and another called “The Shack”.
“Twilight” took 2 nights to finish, “The Shack” a bit longer as I didn’t understand it easily as it used concepts foreign to me. In the end rather than wanting an Edward I wanted to write like Stephenie Meyer (a stay-at-home mother who had a dream and wrote it down…then continued the journey) and “The Shack” left me with the feeling that who I am, being me…is enough. But I’ll let all of this unfold in due time. I have a saying “I’m wading in the shallow because the depths are too deep”.
In part, while this blog is about writing and an outlet for more writing by me,it’s also about life. I was recently reminded of how important it is to share. I was out with some friends and after a few glasses of wine and tapas I marveled at how much opening up and sharing the truths we all live through truly helps one another;the laughter, the pain, the tears, the smiles, the fears- the need for such an outlet encompasses all areas in ones life. I’m given this life, this breath, this opportunity to learn, share, write and grow. I’m a bright constellation of my hopes and dreams and if I can relay such in this blog, through my writings, the sharing of my daily life from the mundane to the spectacular supernatural psychic knowing GPS moments and all… this will be a success.