“Smile little one, there is nothing that can touch you. Nothing can take your grace or your smile. You are a blessing to those who experience you. Do not let them steal the happiness that means so much to everyone…including me” ~Elijah


“Man is equally incapable of seeing the nothingess from which he emerges and the infinity in which he is engulfed.” Blaise Pascal, Pensees


I cannot believe another weekend is over and with an hour less time none-the-less. I spent mine making a delicious coffee cake Saturday morning followed by a session with my ATP/energy healing friend Ann, then a little bit of writing at a local bakery, where I snapped the flower picture below, and ended the day at dinner with my daughter, Mars.



Today was filled with catching up to the loss of the hour. I’m going to take a few minutes and share some words. Well, there is meaning behind the words as well as nonverbal cues and emotion tied to the delivery. Someday perhaps those of you reading will feel me through my words as I do with others…


Now after my last piece I let it settle a bit, not wanting to be too quick to write this post as the two are tightly connected in that, I do not blame the kids who teased me anymore than I blame myself for how I reacted. Those who bully often know how to bully as he/she was treated the same way or observed such behavior. My reaction similar in that vein; I reacted in how I saw others react or “deal with it”, retreating a part of me into myself and allowing a projection of another, stronger part to continue as my outward self. Being bullied taught me it wasn’t safe to be myself, however perfectly imperfect I am. However, at some point one needs to take responsibility, I needed to for my own reactions and continued reactions as I wasn’t still being treated that way. I will say this, my daughter is having difficulty in school which is a hard pill to swallow. My reasons for getting a divorce have to do with the very thing one of the lead teachers at her school mentioned when discussing her difficulty. We adults create the emotional environment for the children around us. Our own children are bathed in our emoting and often we’re not even consciously aware of what we feel. Not many acknowledge or even know that fact.


We have explicit memory which is something we grow into and fade out of from birth until death, but we also have implicit memory that is fully functioning from inside the womb to death. It’s why one can rationally understand why one reacts or is a certain way (explicit) versus actually being able to change and heal (implicit/emotional). As difference is not indicative of change, change is the snowflake patterned expression of ones soul through self.


From A General Theory of Love, by Thomas Lewis M.D., Fari Amini M.D. and Richard Lannon M.D. 


“Every individual lives as a spectral vapor in the neural machine, his thoughts, dreams, feelings, and ambitions the evanescent outcome of intricate signals flowing among billions of neurons. The stability of an individual mind-what we know as identity-exists only because some neural pathways endure. The plasticity of the mind, it’s capacity to adapt and learn, is possible only because neuronal connections can change. The physiology of memory determines the fate of those malleable nodes. It lies in the heart of who we are and who we can become. A scientific theory of memory is therefore a map of the soul…


When the moon passes directly before the sun, the momentary superimposition throws a circle of twilight on the Earth’s surface, an umbra. When the two resolve again into separate heavenly spheres, the land beholds a second dawn…One of the brain’s memory mechanisms bathes consciousness in a floodlight of facts and specificity, while the other—older, deeper, quieter—illuminates our lives with a pale fire all its own…while explicit memory serves itself up for conscious reflection, implicit memory does not. That is why it escapes our notice. The gulf between learning and awareness in the would-be weaver gapes just as widely in the healthy brain. All of us acquire wonderfully complicated knowledge that we cannot describe, explain or recognize…”


That’s a lot to digest so I’m going to leave it at that. You may wonder why there are little bits here and there in my posts, peppered in this blog. I’m sharing little bits because while you may not consciously realize you’re taking pieces that resonate, capture your attention, and filing it away. Later on, if you’re to find some meaning in what I share, you will, however, it takes a lot of subconscious work before something floats to the surface of consciousness let alone awareness of such.


Here’s a teaser…how can one be psychic, or knowing, as well as empathic? How can one know, what is it that makes you know? Where does knowing come from and how does one know without ever having been told or learning such?  I’ll be sharing some other wonderful excerpts from the book Incognito: The secret lives of the brain  by David Eagelman. Yes, part of my weaving is that of logic and emotion, what I know and what I read. I take it all in, sift it then settle letting the pieces that intuitively resonate guide me. And I’m here sharing my renaissance life as I’m not a writer, that’s not me in my totality of being, that’s my expression. I have a story to share, what I’m still piecing together and like my friend, Elijah, said “no one can take your smile, your grace or your happiness” that’s a powerful statement and when one takes that power out of another’s hands and places it back in one’s own, that’s where the healing, the change and growth begin. That’s when we as adults shaping the world for our children and our children’s children will finally help them realize (become aware) what we have not, yet, been able to do so in that we create our reality as much as the consensual reality we live in.





The story I hope to share is one woven from my life lessons that brought me from a disconnected, unhappy life to the one I’m living now, happy with the light back in my eyes. I like this symbolism with all of us blogging and sharing our experiences.


“The mocking bird is able to imitate sounds he/she hears, but actually he/she does more than imitate, for he/she weaves all these sounds into melodies which at times can have joyous amplitude and instinctively creative spontaneity. The symbol refers to the capacity in which the talented individual has to take collective material and to transfer it under the surge of biological productivity and instinctual love. The song rises, peered by these great natural drives, very much as so-called popular songs rise from the youthful soul in response to deep personal or social emotions. At this stage, what is presented symbolically is the reaction of the individual who has become sensitive to many life currents in his environment and who is able to exteriorize this welling-up response as a gift to his/her society.”  


This excerpt resonates with me in writing Glow and the experiences that ensued, resulting in me sharing Anachel. This blog an outlet for me to share my new life, my renaissance life that has unfolded like a flower blooming once I finally listened to the silent part of myself that has always been with me.