The Art of Uncertainty
Posted on February 24, 2012
“Nothing determines who we will become so much as those things we choose to ignore” ~Sandor McNab
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin now.” ~Goethe
The art of uncertainty how odd when one inherently knows intuitively, and yet why doesn’t it feel that way? Why is there still worry, frustration, pain, anger, sadness… why not peace? I believe we know what we need to know when we know it, so if I do not know now, it isn’t time. I feel, there is an art of certainty in knowing I know what I need to know when it is time and according to my destiny to know.
Why do I believe we inherently know? One, because I’ve had my own psychic, or as I like to term it, knowing moments about myself and about others around me. Two, how is it possible to know that which consciously isn’t known or reasoned through? If it hasn’t happened yet, is there still uncertainty, when it is known, at least at some time in some place, but it is I not yet attuned to the knowing?
Intuition is defined as the act or faculty of knowing or sensing without the use of rational processes, immediate cognition. By what purpose am I able to immediately know something if it’s not meant that I know such at that moment. However, I have a choice, I can either ignore or commit to my knowing and moving forward allow the domino like effect commence as with each answer comes a string of more questions for which I’ll either know or live into the answers, according to my destiny in this life, this breath…
“And you are the mother [father]
The mother [father] of your baby child
The one to whom you gave life
And you have your choices
And these are what make man great
His ladder to the stars
But you are not alone in this
And you are not alone in this
As brothers [sisters] we will stand and we’ll hold your hand
Hold your hand
And I will tell the night
Whisper, “Lose your sight”
But I can’t move the mountains for you” [you must do that on your own]
(Timshel-Mumford and Sons, the bracketed text I added)
Being a mother has provided a new beginning for me, a responsibility for myself echoed in my little girl. She came into the world so full of life and I continue to marvel at the gift of being able to give life and am thankful for my life, my being. To carry a baby from the beginning to the final moment of birth, feel all the aches and pains, difficulty sleeping, moving, living, lack of knowing what to expect and frustration is a feat with no equal merit. To forge on blind albeit intuitively, empathically as the love that connects us heart to heart, soul to soul between a mother [father] and the child, is a miracle in and of itself, and truly illuminates the way. It is with this bond [love] I feel God [Creator/Source].
As you climb your ladder [choices] to the stars [you ARE the stars and they your map], as you move your mountains, I do whisper lose your blind sight and find your insight, so that you may intuitively, empathically find your path. I’m here illuminating my path with my experiences, and so I desire you to light your way. Blessings on your journey
Life as I knew it, opened up almost exactly three years ago with the idea of writing a story, a YA novel about incarnated angels. The thing is I had no idea it was part of a metaphyscial/New Age or my term Renaissance belief (of note, most are, every darn one of them–and I’m not just talking about those labeled “New Age” — do your research and keeping going back and then when you think you’re done, keep going, going, going… honestly there are no endings just new beginnings so really it’s infinite :) ) Anyway, I also wrote about many accepted beliefs that pertain to angels in the Christian belief system. I was raised Lutheran, went to Sunday school and like most made friends, went to lock-ins, president of my youth group, Bible camp and partook in the wafer and shot of wine when I was of age… but soon I reached a point where I looked around and wondered… why am I here? Lol, literally in the church at that time but also… here. Montana, Earth, Milky Way… Life. What is the origin and what is the: Who, what, when, where, why… more importantly who can tell me or where can I find such answers.
So I stopped going. But I never stopped seeking, looking and pondering.
I’ve always been interested in spirituality, I read about soul retrieval at age 13, chakras and aromatherapy at age 15, I practiced yoga and t’ai chi throughout my teens and college, even considered Chinese medicine (acupuncture my calling ;) as a career. I had, still have, my blue tackle box filled with crystals as well as the first necklace I made, age 11, with wire encircling the crystal so that I could wear it around my neck. Oh, and now I understand I was highly sensitive and empathic. But then as with attending regular church… I pushed everything down.
I think when we feel so much and do not understand, when certain events begin and yet we are not prepared for… we turn the other way. I know I did. I’ve have many entries on this site about my knowing deep inside (in poems I’ve shared, Glow and Anachel excerpts and posts), about my own personal void as a result of not acknowledging that part of me.
It’s only now I understand that we know what we need to know when we know it.
When my life opened up, when I started to realize that there IS so much more than this physical reality, to me, to all of us… My experiences, “extra”ordinary as some will call them, did not leave me feeling comforted like “Woohoo! Look at you, you won the lottery in getting to have some of those answers you were looking for in your teens.”
I was 31 and not asking them anymore. But seeker,one faces the uncertainty of the unknown and often the events in life happen out of chronological order only when you go back do you understand the significance and realize you always knew…but needed to remember. Little was I aware that someone was taking notes and then “all of a sudden” set me on collision course with my perfect little package of self in the reality it contained with something entirely different. Two words… mind shattering.
My sister says it was so mind shattering as I had such a tight grasp on what I thought of as reality. Yes… I did, I was highly logical/rational. I work in healthcare with evidence based medicine the cornerstone of treatment, you see effects but nothing “visible”, yes, something there but you don’t observe and no effects… doesn’t exist. Period.
Well, then I started to observe the effects of this “unseen” yet known and buried part of me. To look for such answers I had no one to turn to and when one thinks you’re losing it.. you don’t turn to friends and family (side note ever wonder if one knows when ones losing one’s mind or if it just happens one day…) Because I’m alone in this right???
“Finding our inner direction is the real knowledge I think we are all seeking. Wisdom about our ultimate place in the universe is our real goal of life and the one that counts…The limitations of the traditional paths do not bind the seeker. This is both fortunate and unfortunate. It is fortunate as new trails are blazed and new worlds explored. It is unfortunate because, on the return trip home, the seeker is faced with a credibility problem. The seeker returns with new knowledge that challenges current concepts of what is true… Because of the fear of ridicule, people may be afraid to share the benefits of their journeys into the world of the mystical and unseen. If you are one who is afraid to share your experiences in these areas, you have my sympathy and support. Please understand you are not alone. Millions have had similar experiences, but because so many are afraid to share them we are unaware of how widespread these phenomena are.” J.R. Madaus “Think Logically, Live Intuitively.
****To Be Continued***