“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery


 “You know the kind of man or woman that you want? The one who makes your heart sing, the one who is aligned with the way you are, the one who loves you just as you are…That person doesn’t need to be exactly like you; the two of you only need be like a key in the lock—a match that works.” Don Miguel Ruiz


When my world first started to open up to this different part of myself that seemed to know irrespective of learning or having knowledge of what I wrote of, when I found my self knee deep in an angelic story rich with details that fit the Christian belief system, I found a key spiritual mentor in Cynthia Bourgeault.


However, first I would like to state this, our beliefs are our beliefs, we hold them dear and in my statement about the shaping of Christianity (as well as the many divisions within such) is not one meant of ill intent or judgment but one of the deduction I have made in doing my research as well as contemplation within.  I believe in threads of truth connecting many belief systems and Christianity but the one I was raised with a surface understanding, they serve as my roots. I’ve since expanded such knowledge then knowing and now will go back to the pivotal book that helped me understand just what was happening to me; that of mysticism and gnosis, my wings.


“You can have roots and wings it doesn’t have to be one or the other” 


If those are not words you know, mysticism and gnosis, fret not as a mere few years ago I didn’t myself. In the book “The Meaning of Mary Magdalene” I found a key to understanding not only my new spiritual insight, but how when I met my dear friend Elijah, how my world completely illuminated as I quite effortlessly and intuitively opened myself up to this spiritual being that is what I refer to as my silent half.


To me Cynthia brought forth her understanding and experiences of some of the pieces left out of the Bible and associated belief system; that of divine feminine, mysticism, gnosis, and more importantly-what I hope to weave an understanding of-conscious love partners or anthropos.


I wrote of Elijah as Grayson in September 2009 and met him May 2010. We were drawn to each other from the start not realizing that the forces locking us into a magnetic like pull would end up turning our world on end. It felt like being in a snow globe where one had decided it’s time to shake things up and see if we (Elijah and I) could find up from down and learn to see through the glittery snow of illusion to the “other side”, through the globe to the reflections of truth within and separate from the falsities holding us back from living the life we are meant to live. A life aligned with our spirit self. The very self nudging me along to write, to live connected, to find my happiness and my self-love . It all begins within, ones outer life and relationships are a reflection of inner being. To change one must look through the falsities we build up to see the grain of truth, the divine seed we all possess, peel away the layers and nourish that seed, what I call our silent half, to grow. Sometimes the ability to “see” how that seed will grow, one feels it first in the reflection of being whole in the mirror of another, ones key to the lock for the untapped silent self within.


From the Meaning of Mary Magdalene by Cynthia Bourgeault


“When man and woman travel together on the spiritual path, each in his or her own order but in full equality, the icon of the anthropos “completed human being” is most fully revered on earth.


Conscious love is probably the most inclusive of all spiritual paths…the bottom line is not “who” but “how”: the direction of energy flow. On a path of conscious love the energy is always radiating outward; it’s never self-defended or congealed… a requirement of conscious love is, of course, that it has to be conscious-or in other words, anchored in a quality of our presence deeper than simply egoic selfhood… a conscious relationship is one that calls forth who you really are. Instead of looking to a relationship for shelter…we could welcome its power to wake us up in areas of life where we are asleep and where we avoid naked, direct contact with life.


This approach puts us on a path. It commits us to movement and change, providing forward direction by showing us where we most need to grow. Practically speaking, the ability to do this assumes the existence of a stable inner observer or witnessing presence, a place to regroup from…as long as the egoic self is the only self you know, you will cling to it like a life raft.


They function as mirrors for each other; the partners can work their way together through inner logjams that may have taken years to navigate individually. The trick is to clear the logjams rather than get caught in them…meditation or a spiritual discipline is central for this… when one meets one’s authentic partner for the path, the most striking telltale sign is an immediate trust, an intuitive recognition that this person is someone with whom it will be safe to open the door to the cage (a “soul cage” an ego bastation created as a last resort in response to perceived threats to our psychological survival.. an oasis of safety but far too small to allow us to spread our wings.)


There is a yearning to do so, for the path of kenosis as walked between beloveds expresses itself in a deepening urge to hold nothing back. ‘Though we may truly desire to connect with another soul-to-soul, our ego still prefers to promote and defend self-image… thus the approach-avoidance dance begins, as the clash between our deepest yearnings and our deepest fears sets the partners on an inevitable collision course. With honesty, trust and a huge amount of inner witnessing and mysterious alchemy of love itself, the two beloveds may finally set each other free.


The soul cage forms around our original innocence–to protect what is most tender and vulnerable within us– and in the delicate surgery that takes down walls, we must be careful not to destroy the bird… the conscious love partners possess this delicacy. Because they see so deeply into the other’s true nature and yearn so deeply for the other’s becoming, they are able to touch that original innocence and reawaken its song. And this turns out to be the KEY to that expression of wholeness toward which this path is headed…with patience and committed practice the partners gradually become “one body”… “singleness” that state of inner wholeness in which the warring factions of our being have been brought into alignment, becomes an abiding state of being.


 The two individual souls essentially yield themselves into one “abler soul” which jointly becomes the mirror of the image from which they have originated. There’s the symbolic description of integration of male and female …within the individual soul, but literal meaning: two objective “others” (point of view from this realm) do actually choose to throw in their lot together to become jointly the true reflection of the “One” they sense themselves to be at origin. And this in turn creates a powerful open channel between realms through which much spiritual blessings flows.”


Cynthia writes of conscious love partners from a perspective of living through that same spiritual path, hers is detailed in another book “Love is Stronger Than Death”. She’s an Episcopal Priest and her partner, Brother Raphael “Rafe” Robin, was a seventy-year-old Trappist monk and hermit. They met late in life and exemplify how conscious love is one of spiritual focus rather than romantic possession. They spent three years together before Rafe died of a cardiac arrest, but weeping outdoors on a snowy night, Cynthia felt certain that Rafe’s spirit was beside her.  She wrote “Although I was still crying, the emotional sting started to lose its force, and a new and tingling presence began to work its way up in me, literally starting from the tips of my toes,” she recalls. “I knew in that moment I was sustained by an invisible and intensely joyous partner.” From then on, she continued her conscious love relationship with Rafe.


In my experience, ones conscious love partner doesn’t have to be deceased to feel his presence from across the perceived distances of space and time. It’s but another aspect of this spiritual being blooming from within. I’ll end with a poem I wrote for Elijah.


’tis a blessing to feel a stirring

in the depths which are not so deep

to feel a soul’s love and love’s soul

sweet remembrance our eternal embrace