“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.” ~Helen Keller


What is love? I once had a philosopher friend ask me to define love. Oh boy I thought, how does one define love. First, I’ll add  that there is difficulty describing a feeling because it’s a feeling and does not come from the same part of the brain as thinking or words. But I took a shot anyway, I said “a deep lasting feeling of affection/connection that transcends space and time, between a mother, daughter, father, sister, brother, lover, partner, or friend”. He was actually pretty surprised with my answer.


I felt a bit dismayed that the feeling of love was reduced to the above words. So inadequate and yet, how would you define love? The Greek have 4 words for love…eros, agape, philia and storge. All with different meanings but all love in different forms, ie to match our physical forms.


I started reading a book called “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin on the flight back from Phoenix in December. My daughter and I flew back East for the holidays and the last leg of the trip home she was passed out on my lap, so I pulled this little book out to see what it was all about. I will be writing about happiness soon, but before that I’d like to talk about love. In the book the author outlines her project in finding her happy. She asked herself “Am I happy” much like how I ask “what is love?” She’s educated as a lawyer but left her job to write and utilized skills one would use to tackle a court case to help her find her happy. In short she wrote an outline, to do lists, graphs and even wrote 12 commandments (there is only love is her twelfth one too). The month of February is devoted to love. So, I decided to do the same. January was organization and I, well, I wrote a “To Do” list for inspiration :) Cleaning is cathartic, but my life is busy enough without me going into the depths of my closets and garage chanting the mantra “out with the old, in with the new.”


But I was ready to delve into love. Hey, as a newly single lady yes I wanted to know more about love. So along with reading the chapter in “The Happiness Project”, I also bought “Love Poems From God” by Daniel Ladinsky  and “The Mastery of Love” by Miguel Ruiz. I had already read “The General Theory of Love”  by Thomas Lewis M.D., Fari Amini M.D., and Richard Lannon M.D.; which I’ll bring up numerous times on this blog as that book was more like cracking open wonderful treasure box for which I’m still unearthing gems.


To me, after what I’ve read, what I feel and have experienced … love is a tarnished temple. The distortion is that one “thinks” one can control love, dole it out in parcels or loads, or withhold it tightly to ones chest. Love is the very being and breath of life itself, it connects us all united as one. Loving or feeling loved starts with practicing self-love and then becomes reflected in ones relationship with others.  I’ll come back to love later… but let that settle.








I once got into a lengthy discussion with many atheists. One’s belief in God is one’s belief and choice (to each his or her own), when I asked them why most said “lack of proof”. I said okay, prove to me love exists, show it to me.


The Tarnished Temple

~by me

Love is a tarnished temple
where the foolish reside
intoxicated by the distortion
that love can be given
that it can be witheld
that it can be bought
that it can be sold
that one can fall into it
or out of it
For to feel love
is to know we are love
yet are too afraid to understand
for in being love
we fear ourself
and why?
For it is Love
and this tarnished temple
needs some light shed
on why it cannot be so
it’s our perception shading such
Love has no temple
for it’s connecting you to me
and in not needing the temple
we’re free to be as we’re designed to be.