Alchemy is defined as a process by which paradoxical results are achieved or incompatible elements combined with no obvious rational explanation.


“First, you don’t write like you read-front to back- you write as inspired. So if you know what needs to go in at a later time, then write it. That can sometimes help you with what you are blocked on in the earlier parts. You have to write what inspired you to the story in the first place.. keep up your passion… then build around it”  ~Elijah


While the theme angel was the beginning, the next unfolding of Glow was a relationship between two young adults meeting in High School, and yet their bond is one that has always existed. It’s a connection that is not understood other than they feel it and let that be the guide. I’ll leave this as a seed but Elijah and I do have a connection, a tangible one that is also serving as a guide as we both navigate our journeys. Have you ever heard of empathic resonance? If not it’s something I’ll explore soon with you as it’s an important one to understand. The alchemy of writing being that this one story, Glow, serves as a reflection in my life resulting in more unfolding of self, which is guiding me in living the life I’m meant to, rather than the one I planned. I navigate intuitively, which is defined as instant knowing without the use of conscious reasoning… but how can one instantly know? How can we know without thinking about it? I let that settle. I’ll also share this phrase I tell many and will share with you too “take it all in, sift then let settle letting the pieces that intuitively resonate guide you.” Although that presumes one understands resonance and intuition. I’ll be including a piece from Anachel that will hopefully help with intuition a bit.


It’s said that those who desire to write often read and read A LOT. Well, for me this is true. I adore reading I can burn through a book in a day or two depending on my time available and desire to continue the journey until the author has stopped capturing the story. Although, I believe many continue on even if but in ones own mind.


There is a book that has inspired me in a few ways. It was a friend of mine, Ames, who mentioned the book to me but I didn’t actually read it until months later. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho is an inspiring read not only due to the story but the introduction written by the author. I like hearing about authors’ processes and successes when writing and publishing a novel because it inspires me, it shows me it can be done and it’s not always someone who has a degree in literature or English, but more often than not someone writing from the heart and staying true to who they are. I feel we all are naturally drawn to those who live in their truth and this will likely be broached again in another post as Ames also directed me to another author who is just as inspiring as Paulo Coehlo and that is James Redfield.


Paulo shares the following obstacles that can interfere with someone fulfilling or moving towards their personal calling (I like to think of it as my inner dream). Here are they are:


1.      First we’re told from childhood onward that everything we want is impossible. We grow up with this idea, and as the years accumulate, so too do the layers of prejudice, fear, and guilt. There comes a time when the personal calling is so deeply buried in our soul as to be invisible. But it’s still there.


2.      If we have the courage to disinter the dream, the second obstacle then faces us: love. We know what we want to do, but are afraid of hurting those around us by abandoning everything in order to pursue our dream. We do not realize that love is just a further impetus, not something what will prevent us  going forward.


3.      Fear of defeats is the third obstacle, we who fight for our dream suffer far more when it doesn’t work out, because we cannot fall back on the old excuse “Oh  well I didn’t really want that anyway.” We do want it and know that we have staked everything on it and that the path of the personal calling is not easier than any other path, except our whole heart is in this journey. We warriors of the light must be prepared to have patience in difficult times and to know that the Universe is conspiring in our favor, even though we may not understand how.


4.      The last being the fear of realizing the dream for which we fought for all our lives. The mere possibility of getting what we want fills the soul of the ordinary person with guilt. We forget about the obstacles we overcame, all the suffering we endured, all the things we had to give up in order to get this far. I have known lots of people who, when their personal calling was within their grasp, went on to commit a series of stupid mistakes and never reached their goal-when it was only one step away. But if you believe yourself worthy of the thing you fought so hard to get, then you become an instrument of God [creator/source], you help the soul of the world, and you understand why you are here.


 If you haven’t read The Alchemist I strongly recommend it. The journey of Santiago is one that I liken to the Physics of the Quest I shared before, as in one leaves all that one is comfortable with and sets out to find ones self, whether an outward journey or inward, both result in transformation, the alchemy of self. I set out on my quest with writing, it’s truly a mystery in that one simple step resulted in a cascade of events, experiences that now seem so secondary I wonder why I wasn’t aware of this part of my self before as the whole of me (that which makes me feel full). I have been blocked for a bit with Glow as I know I need to write more of Anachel before I can move along, but it’s frustrating as it’s more personal and that can be scary. I cannot protect myself from everyone’s response but I need to write to write, not write for it to be read. To just do it sharing my truth exactly as it happened ;)







I Know That I Know, I Feel That I Know, But When I Think I Know…I Often Don’t Know.

We read, we think, we understand… therefore we know.

Or at least that’s what we’re taught.

I’ve done a lot of unlearning in the last year or so.

I’ve found I know and understand irrespective of thoughts or reading.

And how can that be so?

I’ve been lost driving somewhat aimlessly, many times. In the town I live, others where I used to live or random places in between. I’ve let myself go and turned when I felt like it. I’ve had images in my head showing me where I’ll come out right before reaching my destination.

It’s happened time and time again. I can only chuckle when what I could “see” would appear, and it did right before I pulled into the parking lot, driveway, etc.

I’ve felt people through the internet (empathic resonance). Emotions, tickling in my center, pressure in my heart, headaches, knee pain… the list goes on and on. I’ve done this with those I know and other’s I just met.

I’ve shared before about writing of incarnated angels and angels in general before ever realizing it’s something that some believe.

I’ve shared that the characters initially wrote of in Glow have since entered my life.

I know when emails come from various friends and family. I’ve received an email on my blackberry that was in my junk inbox (from one messenger-Mr Hogan or Lou) in particular) … messages do not go from my junk inbox to my blackberry… ever, well except that one time ☺

I’ve walked the stacks of a bookstore because I really wanted to read something a friend of mine wrote but he was indisposed to direct me to his writings. So while walking through Urban Fantasy my eyes were drawn to several yellow books perfectly aligned.. and it held my gaze long enough for me to understand I’d found what I was wanting to read. Then my search for the first one a similar account as I was led to a bookstore on the opposite side of town and finding the book in the wrong section all by itself. It was the only copy available in the whole store (it was a rerelease of the first three in ONE publishing = score!!!)

I’ve related the earth shattering time I had when I started to open myself up to these aspects of myself I never knew existed. It was so difficult to accept as I bought into the equation above.

And then I’ve come to find I know and understand inherently/intuitively.

We all do.

From General Theory of Love, Thomas Lewis M.D., Fari Amini, M.D., Richard Lannon, M.D.

“All of us acquire wonderfully complicated knowledge that we cannot describe, explain or recognize.

 Consider the following study: the researchers Barbara Knowlton, Jennifer Mangels, and Larry Squire gave subjects the task of predicting the weather in a simple computer model. On each trial a computer screen showed one, two or three of the cues pictured on the next page. The subjects’ job was to predict whether such hints combined to herald rain or shine in the computer’s phantasmagorical world. [side note, what a word, phantasmagorical!] Each subject looked at the cues and typed in his answer, and the computer would give feedback, telling him whether his meteorological prognostication had been right or wrong. Then he tried again.

 The researchers designed this experiment so that the displayed cues, as unhelpful as they look, did relate lawfully to the ultimate outcome of showers or sun. The relationship between cues and effect, however, was complex, probabilistic function that even the smartest person couldn’t deduce.

 By deliberately making too difficult for logic to unravel, the investigators hoped to neutralize neocortical reasoning—so that subjects would confront the task with one brain tied behind their backs so to speak. The cognitive obfuscation succeeded; none of the subjects figured out the scheme whereby clues pointed the way to a weather prediction. Despite incomprehension, subjects nevertheless steadily honed their forecasting ability.

 After just fifty trials, the average subject was right 70 percent of the time. Even though subjects didn’t understand what they were doing or why it worked, they were still able to do it. They gradually developed a feel for the situation, and intuitively grasped the essence of a complex problem that their logical brains could not crack….

 In another study with tasks similar to weather prediction, found that conscious attempts at problem solving got in the way of burgeoning intuition and actually impaired the subjects’ performance. Another experiment demonstrated that carefully explaining the significance of the clues in advance improved how well subjects understood the task, but not how well they did it…

 As we move through the world we tend to presume that success comes from understanding. The brightness of rationality’s narrow beam makes this supposition nearly inescapable.

 ‘Reason is the substance of the universe,” Hegel crowed in an age when science still expected to explicate everything.

 But these memory studies have intuition leading comprehension by a country mile; they reveal our lives lit by a diffuse glow of a second sun we never see… We experience the perceptible portion of this facility as a gathering pressure in the solar plexus, ready for use but defying description. Such knowledge develops with languorous ease and inevitability, stubbornly inexpressible, never destined for translation into words.”

Now lets turn to incarnated angels, something I wrote about without knowing consciously it was something that is believed. Something that can be traced back far into the ancient beliefs that have been translated, sifted, assembled resulting in the fractured state they’re in today. Pieces of the whole.

Doreen Virtue is a well known metaphysician and has popularized the term incarnated angel as well as other incarnated being. She also has a doctorate in psychology and has melded the two together, metaphysics with psychology resulting in her path and her sharing. I really do not concern myself what you think of her or her beliefs, but I will say that to discount everything she says based on:

1. Being divorced (and yes I’ve seen this used) use that “logic” and you need to throw out not only about 50% of the U.S. population’s beliefs/sharing but mine as well.

2. Having a doctor of psychology and a school that isn’t accredited anymore… I’ve worked on getting institutions/programs accredited and most is bureaucratic bull to make money but it does provide some comfort for those wanting a guarantee in what they are “paying to learn”.

3. Use of incarnated angels, incarnated elementals (faeries), wiseones, starseeds.. there are beings in MANY belief systems. [trace many back and you’ll see incarnated angels have always been in the texts/codices they were left out by those who knew what “should” be included in the myriad of belief systems we have today]

4. Use of angels in general if but a handful hand picked for whatever reason. [personally, I don’t care if you believe in nothing but yourself, your soul and the everlasting essence of all that is… we all have our beliefs]

She presents a belief system that builds from many. You can do as you wish, however, there are four things I would encourage you to not throw out as rubbish.

That is clairvoyance, clairsentinence, clairaudience and claircognizance.


Seeing the unseen, feeling the unseen, hearing the unseen and knowing the unseen or that by which you could not possibly know.

You’ve heard me talk of gnosis and mysticism versus doctrines or dogma.

So let’s talk experience and knowing.

In February 2011 I went to a “meet the author” for James Redfield, author of the Celestine Prophecy. I actually got lost on my way to the event and had one of those psychic GPS moments. Anyway, I was all by myself and sat down next to this quite proper and polished woman. We exchanged smiles.

She then leaned over and said “You’re quite young to be here and on your path, what brings you here?”

I replied “Well, I’m writing a story about angels and angels on Earth that started me on this spiritual path of discovery. My friend Ames told me about this book and when I read my email later that week I saw this event coming up. Normally I wouldn’t be free to go but I found a babysitter at the last moment and there was even a cancellation opening up a spot so that I may attend.”

She just looked at me with such a warm gaze and replied. “I paint angels, I see them and I paint them. We’re not of this world you know, we’re vessels and channel through our physical beings. I’d love to know more about your story.”

So I shared about Luxiel and Gracon, The three celestial spheres making up the Milky Way Triad:Erelim, Ophanim and Deva, in short I shared  Glow… as much as I could and time available.

I was so surprised by here and in awe of her complete sharing. Even through experiencing many things it still amazes me the people who are so nonchalant about their experiences. This woman creates life- sized portraits of angels she sees and the last one, Sophie, is magnificent. She wanted to know my name.. to keep an eye out for the book. I really wish I could remember hers, I’m terrible with names ☺

Another woman I met at a Cards of Destiny event (I was there as this divination process was new to me. I also found the link between the tarot cards and regular deck of cards quite interesting, it’s a concept in Glow too.) I arrived at the event being blown in by the rain and wind for it was fall and where I live…it’s cold and rainy in the fall. I sat down and instantly tuned into a conversation between this blonde haired woman, who seemed quite friendly, and the Magi headlining the destiny discovery. The blonde woman was talking about her spirit guides and faeries who constantly barrage her to quit her day time job and pursue her aspirations of being a chocolatier. I about fell off my seat.

I turned to her and introduced myself. Much to my surprise she works at the lab for the same company as I… in fact my office is in the building just next to hers. What a coincidence! She then told me about how she knew about her psychic abilities and clairvoyance as a little girl, but pushed it down, as she wanted to “fit” in. I can relate to that as well.

Her guides started to intervene as her “clinical” job didn’t fit her desire to create. She has an online site and sells “heavenly chocolates”.

Another messenger of mine and spiritual mentor, Ann (in Glow she’s Celeste),  sees angels and faeries too. In fact, she paints them as well. She and I have such a strong connection that a few thoughts of the other results in an email or phone call. She often will connect with me without me realizing I was reaching out… she just “knows” when to discuss or check in… much like my mother in that way [side note my mother is VERY intuitive but she doesn’t consciously realize it]. Ann will relate what comes to her in meditation and honestly she hasn’t been wrong yet. I’d love those odds, my doubts still cloud my abilities.

Read my logic clouds my intuitive, empathic, psychic abilities.

Abilities believe we all have and are born with.

Even with this and the many more experiences I’ve had, I too still doubt and question. For nobody KNOWS it all. Yet I have found resonance in what I just know and what I experience. To me it’s not about who is right or wrong, or if there truly is a right or wrong, when there can be so many paths to the same destination.

To get there is to get there and your path your own.