“Happiness is like a butterfly the more you chase it the more it will allude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder…” ~Thoreau

 

Today after work I took my silly weimaraner to the dog park and in the shelter of the trees and brush, I hugged a tree for my little girl; well, actually I hugged three trees but the first was for her.

 

While in New York City the day after Christmas, my family and I went to Rockefeller Center with the thousands of others wanting to take in the city during the season. As we rounded the corner block the majestic Rockefeller Christmas tree came into view and my little girl, riding on my father’s shoulders, excitedly exclaimed when she saw it “I WANT to HUG it!”

 

 

Those nearby smiled and even chuckled. I mean the joy and excitement was magnetic as well as such a pure innocent display at a tourist attraction, inspiring, where we were all shoulder-to-shoulder pushing our way to get through. Here she was wanting to HUG a tree in the middle of the city let alone amidst throngs of people all in a hurry to get a glimpse, snap a shot then move on to shopping or taking in more sites.  I have to admit that was one of those times I just smiled thinking “that’s soooo my little girl!” Unfortunately, there were two rows of fencing keeping us onlookers a safe distance from the tree. Explaining that one was a bit difficult and as her face fell, my heart did a twist. All was not lost though, for she then took in the ice skating rink.

 

She’s so full of life and reminds me daily to enjoy such moments. To take that initial feeling and allow it to soar, no matter what my inner critic adult says.

 

So today, I hugged a tree for her, then two for me. And it was great! Those that know me from High School would not be surprised, those that know me now may be scratching their head and those that don’t know me at all “Hello, nice to meet you, I’m a tree hugger and proud of it.”  After my display, I admit I initially did a sideways glance then proceeded to entertain my playful side and dance. I had my new playlist rocking my iTouch inspiring me to move and keep moving. I wasn’t too worried about who may see me, yet comforted knowing that trees surrounded me.

 

As I came out of the shelter of the foliage and into the open, I was still dancing and smiling…wide. I wasn’t hugging trees but hugging life. My life. I’ve gone through many rattling changes in a few short years that right now, this blog is my stepping out and dancing in the open, hugging the tree of life…

 

I’ve been online writing anonymously for about two years, which has allowed me to explore, reach out of my comfort zone and enter into wonderland.  I was able to test boundaries I had set within myself as far as what I was willing to share through writing and ended up finding that often just the mere acknowledgement of boundaries in an area needing reinvigoration results in growth. To finally allow that moment of just exclaiming, “I want to HUG it!” rather that censor and hold back how I really feel.

 

Here and now, I find myself wanting to reach out as me, realizing I’m a dynamic being with my finger resting on the pulse of this life. Just don’t be surprised when you see me smiling wide, breaking out into a silly dance, singing along to my heart song (even if a lil bit off key) or hugging trees. I may also share a few tears, a few frustrations as life isn’t just the high points but a culmination of it all, I just happen to linger on the happy parts, squeeze the moment for all it’s worth and be fully present in that moment.

 

Today, hugging trees brought one of those happy parts, a highlight that is forever imprinted in my mind and heart. The expansion of happiness, who wouldn’t want to share in that?

 

 

 

 

P.S. The first tree spoke back to me, I had the thought “the tree of life is in your heart” someday I’ll discuss where ideas come from as our conscious mind is but a tip of the iceberg and logic/thinking but half the picture.

Wonderland

~by me

 What is real?

What is pretend?

So many feelings

Escape me my friend

Stumbling Fumbling Inside Out

HERE I STAND

All alone, on my own

IN WONDERLAND

I’m getting on, getting by

Spinning Twirling Glowing

Finding myself

Upside down, Right side in

Tick Tock Tick Tock

This is the time…where I survive

Not sister daughter mother wife

Time for me…to come alive

I know this is real

I know this is pretend

But will you be here

In the end my friend?

For I found myself

Twising Turning Gliding High

Crashing in Wonderland

To reach the sky