Inside Out, Right Side In…
Posted on January 19, 2012
“Sometimes our lives can change so fast that the change outpaces our minds and hearts. It’s those times, I think, when our lives have altered but we still long for the time before everything was altered, that is when we feel the greatest pain. I can tell you though, from experience, you grow accustomed to it. You learn to live your new life, and you can’t imagine or even really remember, how things were before” ~Cassandra Clare “Clockwork Angel”
I remember the moment I first had the thought, I was looking at Temple St. Clair jewelry at Gilt.com. There it was, a tiny golden cherub medallion with a rainbow sapphire spectrum encircling the pendant, so beautiful and shiny. That’s when I first had the thought, angel. I should write an angel story. I was supposed to be working, but I had finished early dosing the chemotherapy protocols for the patients on the Oncology ward, so I was checking my email.
Sometimes I wonder, “how could a simple image of an angel tug at my subconscious so effectively, as it clicked into place like a missing piece or the sound of a key unlocking a door?” In a way, it unlocked a door to my new life, only it took me a few years to finally get through the threshold.
That night while driving home I was thinking about writing a story. Only in thinking about it I thought myself out of the idea. I remember pondering writing of angels but the following zinging-idea-bursting-thoughts fired in my brain: that I didn’t even think I believed in them, that they’re too perfect so who would be interested in reading about them, or how about a story about angels living on Earth, or like how about how my sisters and I could be seen as angelic, in what we do… no, scratched that idea.
In short, during my 30 minute commute home I had completely tossed that idea aside.
Eight months passed before the idea was nudging me again. I had heard A.N.G.E.L, by Natasha Bedingfield and couldn’t push the desire to write away. I was talking with one of my sisters and she said “Why not try writing the story? It doesn’t hurt to try.”
So while drying my hair that night I thought of the names I would give my two main characters: Miranda and Grayson. I was home alone and my daughter sleeping. I sat down with a cup of tea and turned the television on and started watching The Vampire Diaries pilot. As I was watching I saw the actress in the show visit her dead parents’ headstones at the cemetery. She was bringing a dozen long stemmed red roses to their grave. When the camera panned in, there they were: Miranda and Grayon. The two names of my main characters exactly as I had thought, spelled and written in my journal mere moments ago.
My heart stopped and I swear my jaw hit the floor. My eyes transfixed on the television, I reached for my blackberry (which incidentally is never too far).
I immediately text my sister who replied, “Kristy, there are no coincidences. You should write and not worry about where it leads you.” She went on about J.K. Rowling and how she took years to finally pen the first Harry Potter book. But I knew I was no JK Rowling.
And yet, I had this feeling I couldn’t shake. Like this is something I must do, so I started…
I went to the nearest Starbucks and got an iced soy latte…and settled to see what I’d write.
I took my notebook out, because I like to write with a pen and paper. I still love the tactile sensation of books and writing.
I wrote of celestial carnation (angels incarnating on earth), the 3 spheres of angels, the Council, the need for balance and the consequences of imbalance.
I mapped out Erelim, Ophanim and Deva the celestial spheres…a triad for the Milky Way Galaxy, forever watching over, protecting and nurturing the humans, the flora, and fauna. All of the Heavenly Father’s and Divine Mother’s creation.
I wrote of a valley amidst the Rockies where a Sleeping Giant lies, waiting for the time the Giants rule again along with their fathers, the Fallen. Helena is the residence of many supernatural beings, beneath the etheric temple of Archangel Michael. Here beauty holds no meaning as it must be felt. Experienced.
The big sky seemingly endless with the celestial lights twinkling above watching and waiting for two destinies to meet; opposites here to restore balance.
I wrote about Lux (Luxiel). An incarnated angel, short it stature but a big personality. Long wavy blonde hair and crystal gray-blue eyes and a face that makes her look so young and innocent. she’s the main protagonist.
I wrote of Grayson. He’s tall with piercing gray eyes, short jet black hair cut close like tiny spikes, muscular but more like a panther than a gorilla. He’s determined and on a quest for his own truth.
He and Lux meet on her first day of incarnation. Their bond was immediate, they felt it…only didn’t realize it until later.
There is unrest in the Cosmos, Earth and the Universe are out of balance.
Lux’s memories have been bound. She knows she’s an angel, that she’s incarnated, but she doesn’t remember why. The only thing indicating her rank, are the 4 metallic lines encircling her right lower ankle. Three gold and 1 silver, matching her grand wings, now tucked back behind the gold diamond marking equadistant between her shoulder blades. They are safe here in the physcial realm. Sapphire blue and maroon streak them, like the veins of a delicate orchid, so beautiful and full of grace when she unfurls them at the slightest indication of need.
Are you still with me?
Because this was outlined in mere hours. I went home and thought (there’s that “thinking” again) “what am I writing about?” I don’t know anything about this, but my pen just kept moving, more like I was capturing rather than writing.
And with this, we have the beginning of the Young Adult novel I began about 3 year ago titled: Glow