Glow 2.0

This is a quick post to say: Believe in your dreams. Believe in yourself. Believe in what wants to come to and through you. Truly, madly, deeply, believe with your whole being.

I honestly don’t believe in lofty purposes. I feel it’s actually quite simple: Our purpose is for each of us to be our self. But the catch is, in being yourself, you then tap into this pulse of the divine, spirit, universe, _______ (you fill in the blank) as it wants to live through you. You don’t hold back, you don’t get in your way, you don’t wait for assurances, but act in faith and the desire to devote to the pulse as it’s beating within your heart to be known, to be seen, and to be who you were created to be.

We can grow up and lose touch with those precious moments where we know why we’re here as we feel it deep within our bones as we embody an expression that is more true than the name written on our birth certificate.

This is my wish to you, that you return to the you before you knew yourself and create from, love from, and be that soul in bloom.

I’ve been diligently working on my novel, Glow, this summer. And it finally came together these past few weeks in quite a beautiful way. Not only have I finished weaving the twin narratives together, but I felt the nudge to create a mock cover by snapping a pic of the wooden angel wings that hang in my living room and add a few golden words to bring this dream into a tangible reality. I then saved my draft to an ePub file so that while on my up-coming vacation, I can read it from beginning to end on my iPad (rather than print it all off) and let the story soak back into my bones from the outside in.

It takes work to excavate the story as it wants to be told. This has been a decade labor of love, soul work, and devotion. I’m going to claim it now, but it’s likely the cornerstone of all the things that will come from me from here on out. Writing this story was a tandem journey to me finding myself, my true self, and letting her live on the outside rather than sidelined by my fears, doubts, and ego. There are still many revisions to be made, editing, formatting, finding an agent etc., but I’m taking a moment now to pause and reflect on all that has happened in the past 10 years. It’s been quite the adventure.

As some new doors open, I see myself closing others that are no longer healthy to keep open. My light is shifting as I cast the afterglow in another direction. I know what I desire in life, I know what I deserve and I’m ready to live the life that wants to flow to and through me.

This is my Glow 2.0

Categories: Expression of Self

Tagged: author, creativity, storyteller

11:11 Reflections on Synchronicity

Kristy

Posted on May 12, 2019

Today is Mother’s day and it marks my 11th anniversary in becoming a mother. My daughter turned 11 this past Wednesday and other than wondering where the time went, I noted the double meaning. 11:11 are numbers that you can find numerous hits on a google search to find the meaning. Often, I see repeating numbers. Whether on the clock, license plates, or as totals for purchases. But 11:11 has been around for me for quite a bit longer than the past decade. The old me, had no room for signs, synchronicities or soul. The new me, understands the relationship between all three.

Tucked away, I have a tape I saved with a song titled: 11:11. To explain, my then boyfriend (my daughter’s dad) and I found ourselves two nights in a row, on the same bend in the road in our college town at the same time: 11:11. We both noticed it and remarked of the coincidence. He then wrote and recorded the song for me. Yes, it was just as magical and meaningful as it sounds. I haven’t thought about that in ages, until now on this day of 11 years in being a mother to an 11 year old child.

I used to lament about how wrong I got my life. However, in my belief, to have the synchronous moment way back in the car with my now ex-husband and to fast forward to today, I didn’t get anything wrong. I was right where I needed to be, all the along the way. This can be hard to swallow as the past decade of my life has unfolded in a way that has been equally fascinating and joyous as it has been riddled with pain and grief. I feel we need to redefine what it means to be living the life meant for us. It doesn’t mean that it’s perfect, it just means it’s perfect for us in the moments it’s existing now. The now, however, can turn inside out as you live into the newly aligned.

I used to be so concerned about where I was headed that I didn’t enjoy where I already was. Life passed me by as I only lived the length. But it’s important to live in the depths too. On this Mother’s day, snuggled up with my daughter and our kitten, Binks, I felt the circuitous nature of life. I was reminded of years ago, soon after my divorce, when I was on this same couch with my three-year old daughter and our dog, Bentley. I had one hand on each and really settled into the feeling that this is my family. This is my life, now.

I felt that depth again today. It’s not that I haven’t felt it in the past years, it’s more that I’m feeling the significance of it on this day, my 11th year as a mother to my 11 year old daughter. It took so much courage for me to dive out of the known into the unknown back then. I had the shakiest legs with life as I tried this new way of being.

11:11 in angel or aligned numbers means that you are one with life and with all that is. It’s the sign that you should live in the light that surrounds you and experience a relationship with the divine.

Life is relationship. Our connection to ourselves as a spiritual being in the physical is a relationship and we’re here to experience that. I feel that synchronicities or the divine’s little blips are to help wake us up to something more than the daily reality we’ve become accustomed to.

I was at a BBQ yesterday chatting with many mothers. I shared that I wrote a book, which always seems to spark interest. They asked how I had time for that? I responded that firstly, I have one child. And secondly, I made the time as I followed my intuition and divine signs. I shared about how I reconnected with my intuition years ago when I became a mother and that it’s been guiding me since. One mother mentioned how a few years back, after her second child, she felt like she got guidance, but that now she received nothing. I politely disagreed. I told her that guidance isn’t always stars aligning but daily moments that are meant to whisper and nudge us. I shared that having three children is a lot of work and that she always has access to the intuitive nature she possesses, but that it may not be the time for her to do different things, yet.

Living the life meant for us can mean living in the season we are in now, even if it doesn’t feel special. Or even if it was what was meant then, but not what is meant for you now. This is what I have come to believe with my previous life, previous marriage, and previous me.

I can look back on my life and realize now that even the marriage that ended in divorce, even the dreams that I buried for decades, and the love I withheld from myself, were always part of this life I’m living now as I lived into rediscovering who I am again and again and again. A friend of mine says that what is meant for us doesn’t miss us. I believe that’s true, as long as we turn our head and heart to the light and live in relationship both the mundane and divine.

Categories: Writings

Tagged: Divinity, Relationship, soul, Synchronicity

I Wrote a Book, Now What?

Kristy

Posted on April 18, 2019

This is an IG story selfie that I love, even if the book is backwards ;) I took it holding my first official copy on my birthday. Can you feel the joy? I can!

It’s been just over a week since my book launch for Forty Mornings. I have to admit, I’ve carried my first official copy in my handbag ever since opening the package. I even videoed the book reveal on my Instagram profile to commemorate. And last Friday morning, while frequenting my local breakfast spot, the server who knows me and my order well, tried buy my copy off me. But I held fast and referred her to the amazon page. It did give me the idea to carry copies to share. It’s been surreal and amazing the past week. But the truth is, while on one hand I’m over the moon that this first book of mine is published. I’ve been feeling a little like, “I wrote a book, now what?”

It’s not that I don’t know next steps. I do. I’m planning a live event in Portland, Oregon on May 4th called Divine Fusion Live. You can check it out here. I inadvertently picked May 4th, as in, “May the 4th be with you.” Which is so appropriate but not planned, well, consciously. I know I’ll be creating an online course of the same title this summer. A few weeks back, I had dinner with my friend and videographer. While noshing on tagliatelle and sipping Chardonnay at the rooftop restaurant, we discussed angels, lighting, equipment, and just what it would take to create this web course. And then Glow, I’m finishing that up.

So, it’s not a what’s next that I’m referring to so much as it’s a what now.

I remember a few years back at the Wanderlust LA listening to Elizabeth Gilbert and Rob Bell discuss how much of what we create isn’t about the end product, but what we’ve created within ourself to bring the creation to life. I have never really understood what that meant truly until seeing the image of me above. You see, the past decade, while it’s been filled with many beautiful, loving, and joyful moments. It’s equally been filled with doubt, fear, pain, loss, and uncertainty. I didn’t know how all the life changes I was nudged to make would turn out. I didn’t know that all would be okay, eventually.

It’s only now I can truly look in the mirror and say that I love the reflection. And I’m not talking about physically. I’m talking about knowing the courage it took for me to truly look at myself and the life I had created and realize just how lost I was. I didn’t even know myself, only that wisdom I wield now is gleaned after the journey home to my soul. As a teen, I used to always end the poetry I wrote with the following line, “I’m here in the present, disconnecting my soul.”

I never stopped to really think about what it was I was saying. How does one disconnect soul? Let alone wonder what the soul was as it was abstract and nothing my mind could wrap around.

The truth is, you don’t disconnect. But you can turn away, you can dial down the nudges of soul, what I term your link to your higher self, and move in the opposite direction meant for you. You’re never off your path as you’re your path, but you can veer far from your true North.

I’ve always wanted to write. I share about the book I wrote at age 7ish in Forty Mornings. I wrote poetry in my teens and twenties. I went to school to become a Pharmacist but that’s really my healer self in disguise. I then had the nudge to write a book about angels while working on the Oncology unit one January day in 2009. I finally sat down to write in September of 2009 after seeing the names of two characters I thought up hours prior reflected in the pilot episode of The Vampire Diaries as the names of the dead parents of a main character. That small but profound coincidence set me on this path to where I am today.

Forty Mornings is all about the moment you stop to truly begin to connect with what your soul has been trying to tell you all along. It’s about building a relationship, one that once fostered will continue to guide you.

So, when I ask myself, “What now?” I’m really asking, “Who am I now?” I have moved beyond the author of Forty Mornings, I’m somewhere in-between Divine Fusion and Glow. But those outward expressions and creations aren’t me so much as what I’m creating/finalizing within myself as I bring them to the light to share with others. It can take time for transformation to settle if we’re so used to standing in our own way.

Eckhart Tolle says, “If you get the inside right, the outside falls into place.” I’ve connected back in and come home to my soul. From there it’s fusing my divine self with my living self and that, well, that’s how we glow.

A month or so ago I stayed up late watching a documentary about Gobekli Tepe. It chronicled the discovery of around 20 circular structures that held a total of 200 pillars near Sanliurfa, Turkey dating 10,000 BC. It’s the oldest ceremonial structure found to date. There are more unanswered questions than understanding about this place, however, I watched the documentary transfixed. The part about the sun symbol with wings piqued my interest. This symbol is well-known with the goddess Isis, it’s considered the soul/divinity, and is commonly seen in religious pictures as a halo or circle of light surrounding the head. A few paintings shown in the documentary depicted that the halo was not just for celestial beings, but for people like Jesus. The glow was the indication that the person had transcended their earthly form and fused with an enlightened state.

Enlightenment sounds so pretentious but I believe it’s quite simple. We’re equally the truth of our atoms, cells, and physical bodies just as much as we’re the space between our atoms, the love we know through feeling, and the inspiration that abounds inciting creativity and wonder in each of us. Enlightenment is knowing we’re beyond the body but able to bring that higher self down to Earth and live a divine earthly life.

A living spirit. That’s my, “What now?” Have you asked yourself about yours?

Categories: Writings

Tagged: author

Birth of an Author

Kristy

Posted on April 9, 2019

Well, I did it!! I published my first book and it’s available for purchase here! I can’t believe this day has finally come plus it’s all happening on my birthday, which is also National Unicorn Day. Coincidence? I think not!

Well, I did have a hand in aligning my book launch and my birthday. National Unicorn Day, however, is what I like to call Divine Timing because I am a unicorn too. You can read my post about that here.

I’ve pondered the best way to share Forty Mornings with you all and felt that an excerpt from the book would be a good primer.

Intro:

Hi, friends! This is the part of the book where I tell you what to expect from reading it and why you should buy it. You want a promise for results, transformation, and realized dreams.

What a loaded promise!

Here’s the thing: It’s my sincerest wish that you do find yourself living into and embodying all of those. However, I promise no BS. And in promising no BS, I have to be completely honest that I’ve wanted those same things from self-help authors, personal development motivators, and spiritual transformers before. I held so many expectations without realizing that there is one crucial factor that no one else can supply. The fact is that YOU alone hold the key to your dreams, transformations, and aspirations.

I can guide you to the path—the very one I’ve trod over the past decade. I can provide principles and guideposts, but it is you and you alone who take the steps. You who show up, read, and let the words settle while the meaning tunnels to your depths as you move through each day.

Don’t get me wrong—I’ll be here encouraging, inspiring, and uplifting you as you embark on this journey. But the outcome rests upon your shoulders. It’s not meant to be a weight but liberation from the weight of waiting for others to manifest for you what you desire.

The truth is you already have all that you need within to bring forth all the miracles and magic by simply being yourself. It’s not about who you need to become but who you already are beneath all the layers of doubts, disbelief, and discontent.

I’ve taken this journey within, and I hope to ignite the same within you.

The question that matters now is this: What would happen if you set the intention to show up daily for 40 mornings, ready to dive within, and connect with your intuitive self?

Forty Mornings was born from my desire to help others connect with their intuition and inner GPS. I believe there’s a part of ourselves that speaks through intuitive nudges, synchronicities, and resonance. This self holds the key to unlocking our greatest desires, dreams, and creative aspirations.

Whatever calls to be expressed from your soul.

I believe this because I’ve experienced this.

Forty Mornings is about beginning this relationship with your inner self as you seek to change and transform your outer self, flowing and growing into anything that calls to your soul.

We each have a voice that whispers, nudges, and puts exactly what is needed at the time on our path. It’s always there, and it’s our choice to either pay attention or pass it off as coincidence or wishful thinking rather than intuition and guidance.

I’ve learned to trust that voice and inner guidance as it’s born of a more expansive knowing than when looking at the cards I already hold.

The thing is, intuition is important. But first, you need to give yourself the space and time— even if but five minutes—to set the stage for your inner GPS to kick in as you connect to this often buried part of yourself.

Don’t have the time you say? I hear you. I’m a single mother who works full-time as a pharmacist informaticist with a healthy morning and evening commute. This is why I stand on the opposite spectrum of massive action. I believe in aligned action. Inspired action. This action is born from a greater knowing than throwing everything at the target hoping one of the arrows hits its mark.

As for not enough time . . .

We live in a bustling world. Our phones are mini computers that chime and sound with each news alert, FB message, or Instagram like. We can check into our flights, read our email, or FaceTime with family and friends halfway across the world. But even with this attention-zapping, double-edged sword of amazing technology, we can’t truly buy more time.

What we can do is be intentional with the time we have. We can sit down and figure out what truly is a priority, moving the necessities with the niceties around this core need—understanding our calling and unearthing our wholeness.

This is where Forty Mornings comes in. You’re beginning a relationship with this other part of yourself and setting the intention to show up and bring forth what surfaces. It’s a path intended to help you grow and expand into the creative, beautiful expression of your soul—the wholeness that you already are.

Are you down for this? Are you ready to set aside your preconceived notions and get real and raw with yourself? Are you ready to come home to your soul?

I wholeheartedly hope so! Click here to purchase your copy and being your Forty Mornings Quest.

If you buy my book and feel so inclined, please leave a review on Amazon as that helps with ranking as well as positions it to be suggested to others. I would be forever grateful and, as my daughter often says, “You’ll be blessed by unicorns.”

Categories: Writings

Tagged: author, Devotional, Forty Mornings, Self-Discovery, Soul Work

Forty Mornings, The Book

Kristy

Posted on March 1, 2019

I wrote a book! Really!! It’s titled Forty Mornings and it began here with the first blog post detailing an email series I’d be championing. I wrote 40 consecutive emails that flowed into the inboxes of about 30 folks who signed up. You can read what I wrote about it here.

It wasn’t a conscious idea. What I mean is that I didn’t sit at my computer and strategize what I should share with others. Instead, the idea came knocking on my door. Well, truth be told, it came to me during a shower. I was on vacation and I saw the words “Forty Mornings” in my mind’s eye. I immediately created an image using a surise photo from a recent trip to Tulum, Mexico and used the app WordSwag, to add the text: Forty Mornings. I like to make tangibles for the ideas flowing around in my head. An anchor so to speak. I also like to play with the light and its symbolism, hence the sunrise photo ;).

It astonishes me to think that I wrote the book in 40 days. Granted, it’s not a novel or memoir so there is no defined literary structure needed. It’s part inspiration, part encouragement, and part storytelling. But it was fun and ease-filled.

While it was quick to write, it took 365 + days to believe it was a book. Man alive, our doubts can sure get in the way. I couldn’t help but think: “it can’t be that easy!” Then came the, “who would even read it?” or “who am I to share this?” But I’ve worked slowly over the past few months to get it ready and with the help of my mentor and soul sister, Marnie McDermott, to flow through and sync with my own soul and bring this to book to the light. I bought the artwork for the cover almost a year ago from a local artist, Rachael Rice. Synchronistically, she’s the one who shared the Rumi Quote on Instagram that inspired me.

From there I joined Self-Publishing School and how I was led to Chandler Bolt, the school’s founder, is a story in-and-of-itself. Then I flowed to an editor, Brooke Bohinc, and formatter, Glenn at Sarco Press. It’s been quite the process and I’ve learned a ton. But mostly, I’m just so thankful to be in the home stretch. I started another book, Glow, years ago and always thought it would be my first book. But Forty Mornings persisted, and edged out the one that started my journey. You learn how Glow propelled me from my old life into the new one I’ve been living into as I came home to my soul.

I will be sharing more details soon, but I’m writing now as since it’s self-published I’m looking for folks interested in helping me out with my Launch Team. I’m looking for a few highly motivated folks, who feel aligned with this, to read advanced copies and then help me bring Forty Mornings to others through word-of-mouth or sharing on social media. If you’re interested, please comment below and I’ll be in touch.

This is the back copy and helps dial in just what I’m hoping to achieve with this book. See you all again soon as once I get the printed copy in my hot little hands, I’ll be sure to nab a few pics to share. Stay tuned!

Categories: Writings

Tagged: author, Devotional, growth, intuition, Manifestation, Personal Development, Self-Discovery, soul, writer

Angels and I

Kristy

Posted on October 29, 2018

This is an older photo from 2015, but the only one I could find quick enough when signing up for my client session. It’s not a coincidence that it was this photo, as it has significant meaning for me and I’ll be sharing just what in a different post.

I was recently a client of Jess Lively for a recorded client session. Over the past few years I became transfixed with her very public sharing of her path moving from Values based Intentions Jewelry Business and Business Coach, to Law of Attraction, to Quantum Physics and using the mind as a point of attraction, to where she is now – moving beyond the mind. She chronicled this all on her podcast: The Lively Show.

I’d listen in awe as rather than show up in a public forum, with my own name, I joined a few very private forums to explore what was opening up inside of me, to then the social site: Experience the Project. I used the butterfly nebula as my profile picture and I used the name of the main protagonist in Glow: Luxiel. I was anonymous and I needed that.

My client session with Jess is on her podcast and you can listen here. It’s long, about 2 hours, but the first half is me sharing my story as Jess overlays with her understanding between the mind and “outside of the mind” (I call this soul). It was interesting to see how she could bring a language to what I was ping-ponging with in these moments of revelation with this other aspect of myself. An aspect I had not developed nor nurtured, let alone listened to, for most of my life. As a clinical pharmacist and informaticist I can be rational and logical to a fault. I shut many things out or pushed them down until it all spilled out and I had to reconcile my new found experiences with what I previous knowledge of.

One thing she said has stuck with me as I shared that while on the site Experience the Project was that my mind was given a safe space so it retreated more and allowed my natural self, my gifts and abilities, as much as desires and dreams to surface.

I can see that clearly now. But at the time I was so concerened that I was going crazy.

While I enjoyed my time spent there espousing about anything from being spiritual but not religious, talking about angels, meeting folks from all over the world and sharing our stories, I realized we have more in common than differences. I remained mostly anonymous. A few I’m still in contact with. But many still know me as Anachel or Luxiel/Lux rather than my given name from that site. Unfortunately, the site isn’t active anymore nor can you access the thousands of stories shared there.

In the second half of podcast you’ll hear Jess play the role of my mind as I only answer from my inner voice (inner being/intuition). About halfway through the second half, a little nugget surfaced that I didn’t realise was something I was holding back.

It’s the fact that angel is central with my path and how I’ve been guided and that I’ve been avoiding sharing my every-day connection with angels.

Sure, I have my inner GPS, my intuition, my mentors and others who happen along my path and share something needed at the exact moment I need it. But it’s equally true that from the moment I saw the gold angel pendant that started the idea to write a story about angels to this moment now where I am nudged to help others connect with angels, angels have guided and helped me.

Angels are messengers of the Divine and, honestly, have been present in many facets documented throughout history but have been removed or minimized so as to not confuse worship of the Divine with messengers of the Divine. It’s important to connect in anyway that feels right for you.

Years ago, I read all the stories that weren’t include in various doctrines that share how they’ve been a link, a bridge with one’s own divinity. And then I expanded from my own loose Christian roots to see how they’re present in many beliefs systems with their own name. I’m sharing this because it’s not new; angels helping humans is as old as time.

A couple of weeks after the podcast, I kept hearing or seeing in my minds eye Angel Academy. After listening to a different podcast by Rachel Hollis the the interviewee said Influencer Academy but of course, I heard Angel Academy and felt the tingles over my body. Those tingles are resonance. Pay attention to resonance, folks!

I, finally, payed attention and jotted this down in my notes on my iPhone on 10.9.18. Then during my spiritual/biz coach session that month I brought it up as I felt it meant I was to re-engage with Glow and get her finished. While that is true, it was about something entirely different.

Part of my purpose in being me is to share my story with angels. Not Glow, but the one that’s been written tandem to my journey as I live this story.

I was skeptical. I don’t have the extensive experience as say Doreen Virtue (I read most of her angel books back when I was trying to make sense of things. She has since moved on and is more of a fundamental Christian) or Kyle Gray – a.k.a. the Angel Whisperer.

But me? I have doubts. Half the time I still wonder what I believe. I know it’s my mind still trying to grasp what the other part of me knows and needs no proof other than how they’ve shown up in my life.

I didn’t realize how much I’ve been dialing down. In saying that though I am reminded of the moment I told my then writing/life coach in 2015 that even if someone directly asked me if I have a connection to angels I’d say no. Right to their face.

Why you ask? Because I’ve been in the endless loops of conversations where someone is bound and determined to tell me that they do not exist. Notice how I mentioned nothing of my trying to get another to believe? Because I don’t. We believe what we believe and there is beauty in how certain truths have unfolded for each of us.

But angel started it all. Well, love then angel. But that usually how it begins.

You love. You open. You connect. They come to help with your reentry with the Divine. The purpose to help you remember who you are as you reconnect and allow yourself to become the living spirit that you are meant to become. They nudge, float feathers on the wind, whisper you to go left when you’re absolutely stuck going right.

Do we have our own inner voice and spirit that guides. You betcha. Is prayer important, of course. But we also have guides to the Divine. And while angel is what I call them, you can use whatever term you like.

One of my spiritual mentors, who has since passed on, used to tell me all the time how I needed to move passed the angel thing. That they’re not real and more of the human condition than spirit. And in the very next breath he’d tell me of the shiny people that appeared to him in his moments of need.

I could only chuckle. Angels. Shiny People. Devas. Kachinas. It doesn’t matter the term. The point is you’re opening yourself up to allow this connect to exist.

However, this is something that’s been knocking at my door and perhaps its time to share so that others can connect to how I view the angels. As it’s not the same as others. But it’s still an inherent connection we need to respark to help us on our way, if resonant.

My current spiritual biz coach said in my October session that I’ll be given signs and affirmations.

The next day, while walking along the Columbia River I asked if I truly am to be an angel guide. I was like, “Me? Really? I’m not sure I can do it.”

A few minutes later I felt the need to turn to my left and I saw a white feather floating on the breeze. It floated in front of me and up to the grassy bank by the road. I run that same path about 3 times a week. I’ve been out there for over 6 years and I’ve never seen a feather on the breeze. I’ve seen cotton or the little wishes from dandelions.

I also was like, “I need a picture! Proof!” I actually did get one. I have an Angel IG story video highlight you can watch. My handle is: Kristy_maffit or you can click here.

Of course, skeptics will say, “So?” or “How do we know it’s a feather.” And you know what. That’s okay. It’s okay to question. I welcome it. I’ve been questioning myself and all that has happened to me the past decade.

I’m not here to convince anyone of anything. I’m here to share my story. And for those curious or who are already grappling with changes in their life and need a safe place to land.

You’ve found it here.

I plan on creating a community for folks who are going through similar things I went through years ago when I came to the internet to find answers, connect and feel safe grappling with the changes and experience unfolding in my life. I don’t know how it will look, I just know I’m ready to be what I needed years ago for others. With my actual name and picture ;)

Categories: Angel Guide

Tagged: angel, Divinity, soul, Spiritual Awakening

On Stars + Soul

Kristy

Posted on October 7, 2018

Yesterday morning my daughter hopped into bed with me, snuggled in tight then asked me what she was in a past life.

Me: You believe in past lives? (We had never discussed this.)

Marlie: Yeah, I think I was a cat lover.

Me: Or a cat. That could be why you like them so much. But you know, time is a human construct. Truly there are no past lives as they’re all happening right now. But it’s easier for our human minds to process linear experiences.

Marlie: You were a star. Then an angel. Then a peacock and then human. Probably, a queen.

Me: You might be on to something little one. But I definitely wasn’t a queen in the monarchy sense. (minus the peacock and nobility—for which both are symbolically one in the same— she just described the lineage of Lux – the angel I’m writing about in Glow. Which, truly, is a repackaging of my own soul’s journey.)

Morning time has always been one of magic and connection. When she was three she asked where we go after we die and wanted to know more about the land of spirit. We had never discussed spirit either.

The only thing that popped into my head was that I wanted coffee. Scratch that, I needed coffee, before even beginning to answer that question. As the parent we always want to answer. And mine was: I don’t know.

I shared with her that I have beliefs and ideas. But I don’t know. Then followed that up with the fact that I had never been dead before.

Do any of us know? Nope.

We think we do. We have ideas. We hold onto beliefs.

And while I was more open to spiritual things back then. It was still so new to me. I previously felt that spirituality or religion were for those people who needed. And I wasn’t one of those people.

I can only laugh at that now. I understand how I felt in that what I had seen as spirituality and religion were not something for which I wanted any part of. For two main reasons. One, it just didn’t make sense. No proof. And two, look where religion and spirituality have gotten us?

Wars, oppression, the great divide between those who have and those who don’t. Much harm in the name of their God or religion.

No thank you, I didn’t want to be a part of that.

But I’ve come to believe that we all wired for what has been filled by what we call spirituality or religion.

It’s a feeling.

Not a thinking. And often, in thinking, we disconnect from the feeling to capture the essence via words or thought.

It’s another part of our self that has been drilled out of us and placed outside of us. The lie being that we have to do anything to connect to that which is our deepest essence guiding and loving each of us along.

But I get that too, in a sense. Even I felt it wasn’t necessary. Except I hadn’t experienced it in the way I’ve come to intrinsically know.

And I know not from a book or a weekend retreat or even from what others have told me. I know because I’ve experienced and continue to experience this connection.

It flows to me and through me. It is just as much a part of me as my lips, eyes, voice or thoughts.

It’s more than a prayer or mantra or manifestation.

It’s a way of being. Which doesn’t have to be some lofty ideal, but the simple act of opening up to the connections that are already present.

When I say we’re wired for this, I mean our brain is literally wired to experience life and live this way.

From the earliest times when primitive folk created cave paintings with motion to capture the animating force that courses through each one of us to right now when so many of us are searching for that something that calls and nudges us along whispering, “there is more to you than what you already know.”

From time-to-time we tap in. But to truly live from that presence, more than a rock skipping along the river surface, we have to dip, then dive, in.

Because, there is a you before you knew yourself. And to know that self you must let go of the knowledge you define as self to find the source.

Are you ready?

Categories: Expression of Self

Tagged: past lives, soul, spirituality, writer

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