People often come to me asking what books to read, what I find the most helpful in self-help/personal development or where to find the answers they seek.

They’ve read my latest blog posts wanting to connect point a to point b making c.

The truth is I’ve been working in these things for years, if not a lifetime.

Eight years ago armed with my insatiable desire to know this vast realm of unknowns, I opened up wide to take in all there is out there. Reading, sharing, holding difficult conversations and others that lit me up.

It’s been a renaissance of beliefs and knowing. A renaissance glow.

Have I taken it all in? Nope, not even close. There is only so far you can get with what is seen, what has been written and shared. And what you see is only a mere fraction of the whole.

The observable universe is less than 5% of the total. Think about that.

They say the universe is in you, quantum physics can attest, spiritual traditions espouse such to be true, major religions state the kingdom of God is within.

Maybe there’s something there that can’t be seen.

Maybe there’s something to share that can’t be seen.

Close your eyes, settle your breath. If your thoughts race, that’s okay. But sit there for a bit. Be still and observe, leaning into your presence.

Can you imagine how now you’ve opened yourself up to feel the whole of you? Not just the pieces you see, but the silent spirit nudging, “I’m here.”

The truth is only you know what you seek as the answers are within you.

You know the way. You are the way.

Our creative endeavors and curiosities are guideposts. Our soul speaks to us to help guide.

Sounds like a lot on your shoulders, huh?

It would be better to find proven steps or flow charts to find your way, or better yet, sign up for a course to make sure, right?

To see your way.

Certainty can be thrilling but often won’t get you there. It’ll get you to another’s there, but not yours.

You’ll be close, but not THERE there. Only you can do that.

Take it all in, sift it and let it settle allowing the pieces that intuitively resonate guide.

If those are words or concepts you’re not familiar with, look them up, ask someone, reach out and try.

You have to start somewhere. And there is no shame in saying, “I don’t know.”

In fact, that’s the best place to start. That means you’re ready. And I say it all the time ;)

I’m here because I’m ready to be a spirit guide as I share my story.

I’ve tried to share it time and time again, but I always fall short in the vulnerability part, in the showing up whole part and in allowing myself to be seen.

I just haven’t been ready, but I am now. And that picture above of the sun?

That’s you, a big ball of light in the dark that is worthy of love and belonging, worthy of going for your dreams and dancing in joy.

How do I know this?

Because it’s me too. And we’re all here on this blue planet together each wanting to love and be loved, each wishing and praying for another way. One that calls to you, one that you feel.

That same light will guide you and it has a language of its own.

I have derived how to understand the language and would love to teach, or ignite within you, your own Divine Fusion.

You have a part of your self that speaks through intuition, nudges, and resonance as well as holds the key to unlocking your greatest desires, dreams, creative aspirations – whatever calls to be expressed from your soul.

My intention with the Divine Fusion web class is to take this relationship and break it down into principles to help share with those seeking such connections within.

The Divine Fusion webclass is structured as follows and it’s FREE:

Our first class starts Thursday March 8th, 2018 and will recur each Thursday for four weeks total (March 15th, March 22nd and March 29th.) We’ll start at 6:30 p.m. Pacific time. I plan on allowing 2 hours (half for material I’m sharing and half for questions). However, if there is a need to extend the time, that will be evaluated during the class and at the discretion of me (Kristy Maffit ;).

Each webclass will be recorded so that those unable to attend can catch the material on one’s own time.

A follow-up email post class will be sent on Friday to help further cement what was given along with prompts to help bring this information closer. There are no one-size fits all with this. The time and energy you put in will help with your individualized results.

If you’re spirit is nudging you and you’d like to join, click here.

It’s my pleasure to guide you with all things Divine!

Categories: Writings

Tagged: spirituality

Divine Fusion

Kristy

Posted on March 1, 2018

In my belief, we have a part of our self that speaks through intuition, nudges, and resonance as well as holds the key to unlocking our greatest desires, dreams, creative aspirations – whatever calls to be expressed from your soul.

My intention with Divine Fusion is to take this relationship and break it down into practical steps to help share with those seeking such connections.

This is a path that opened up for me years ago the moment I sat down to write the novel whispering to me on the inside. Before I even sat down to write, I was given a sign that literally created a divide between the way I defined reality and what I know and what reality can hold when I was willing to loosen my grasp, listen and open.

We each have a voice that whispers, nudges or puts exactly what you need at the time on your path. It’s always there, it’s you who either pays attention or passes it off as a coincidence or wishful thinking versus intuition.

The moments you pause and listen, are the moments you truly can transform your life, yourself and set yourself on the path designed just for you.

I wasn’t always on this path. I stumbled upon it after trying to travel down the path of outer “shoulds” and what’s “right”. It was only after writing a poem titled Zombie at midnight one night that I realized despite all the accolades and achievements I’d made, I still wasn’t happy.

I had money, a Doctor of Pharmacy degree, I was married with a nice home and beautiful Weimaraner puppy. Yet, still, some feeling of peace and joy eluded me.

After becoming a mother, I connected so deeply with my daughter in love that I vowed to not disconnect from love and myself anymore. I began to do the things I enjoyed again. I read, not textbooks or scientific papers, but Young Adult Urban Fantasy novels.

In 2008, I sent a wish to the universe asking for a story of my own to share. This came on the heels of finishing the Twilight Saga, The Mortal Instruments Series and various others of the same genre.

Tandem to this I read The Shack which gave me a sense of enoughness with myself to allow myself to even ask for such a thing. At the time, I was a new mother back to work full-time as a hospital pharmacist. I wrote poetry from my teens on, but never a story or novel.

This moment I’m about to share, is what I call a sliding door moment; one that permanently etches a before and after into your life.

Some examples for me include: After the divorce. Before my spiritual mentor passed away. Before the baby. After the miscarriage. Before graduate school. After divorce. Before falling in love again…

Despite all these, there is one singular moment that shifted my being: the moment I saw the names of two characters I dreamed up staring back at me on the television set. It was the pilot episode of the Vampire Diaries and I had finally entertained the idea of writing a story. One I’d asked for and yet hit the snooze button on the universe’s wake-up call.

The first nudge came at work. As a clinical pharmacist, I had finished dosing chemotherapy for the Oncology Unit and checked my personal email. I clicked into a promotional email for Gilt.com for Temple St. Clair jewelry and the image of a golden angel pendant encircled in a rainbow sapphire spectrum stirred me.

Write a story about angels, I thought.

Only during my commute home, I pushed the idea down. I told myself: you’re not a writer, you’re a mother with a baby and a pharmacist, plus, who would want to read it anyway? Do I believe in angels? If they’re singing praises in heaven all the time, that wouldn’t be an adventure, that would be boring.

By the time I slid my car into the garage I had shoved the idea down.

The story incubated for 9 months until driving home one sunny summer evening. The song A.N.G.E.L by Natasha Bedingfield came up during the C.D. shuffle in my golden Camry hybrid. The idea surface again. Write a story about angels.

This time I texted my sister to share the nudges. She has always supported my writing and urged me to express myself. She even gifted me a handmade journal with the words: write on the front and an inscription imploring I open up to this creative side more.

She texted back, you need to begin. Don’t have any expectations but try. It took J.K. Rowling years to pen Harry Potter.

I felt encouraged, except I knew that I was no J.K. Rowling.

Still, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I needed to wake-up and listen. Just exactly what I was listening to would take years to unpack.

That night, while drying my long blonde hair, I thought of two names: Miranda and Grayson. Later that night, while my baby daughter slumbered and my husband brewed beer at the neighbors, I sat down with a cup of Earl Grey tea. The scent of bergamot relaxed me into my favorite worn leather club chair as I began to watch the pilot episode of the Vampire Diaries. My time, I thought.

Midway through my eyes widened in disbelief when I saw the exact two names, Miranda and Grayson, that I had written in my journal a mere hour before, on the headstone of the dead parents for one of the main characters.

What a coincidence, I thought. I text my sister and she replied, there’s no such thing as a coincidence. You need to write this story.

The moment I saw the names reflected back on the T.V. my mind cracked open as statistically speaking it is inconceivable that not only one name matched, but both.

How could that happen?

I was full of questions, but I knew one thing for sure. I was meant to write this story and whatever else that came along with it.

The next day I went to Starbucks with my notebook in hand and the story poured out of me. I didn’t know the name yet, I titled it “Unwritten”, I just knew that I needed to capture it. A couple of hours later, I look up and realized I filled the notebook with tales of triads of angelic spheres watching over the various galaxies of the universe.

This rippled out into my life as I found I’d written some about angels in a way that jived with many belief systems that included their mythologies or symbol.

How can that be so?

The moment I saw the names, I touched on a truth that shifted me from the inside out and split my life into a permanent before and after.

Unknown to me at the time, I then sought out to reconcile the two seemingly disparate halves.

Who was the person before and how could she have strayed so far from her true, deeper self? The one finally given air to breathe through writing. The one where the simple act of writing birthed a new self.

But two halves don’t always make a whole, when their intersecting edges no longer align.

Looking back, I know now that you don’t force the new fit. You go back and revisit old experiences, hurts, pain, stories and beliefs to reshape the before as you live into the newly aligned after.

I sought to align my lived experience with my spiritual essence that craved expression, embodiment and elevation into the side that informs my actions, my dreams, my desires, my life.

I ended up fusing my experienced life with my divine life together, glowing whole.

I began the journey filled with questions, wanting to understand this apparent half that is connected, knowing and able to guide me to what I needed and how to get where I wanted to go.

I opened myself up to all the things I originally passed off as it didn’t fit how I defined “reality”. I went right where I’d normally go left. I sought out folks with different experiences and beliefs, letting the commonalties bring us together and the differences provided growth.

It wasn’t always comfortable. In fact, I learned to get comfortable with discomfort and not always knowing the end game but trusted and kept the faith that the kinks would work out as I lived into the larger picture. The vantage point from my spirit.

I’m here to share as we need more people connected to their true self, expressing their gifts, following inner GPS and allowing intuition or spirit guide.

These steps are my jam. I see them just as easily as I see you. The whole you and help you navigate the waters as you find your North Star to help you guide yourself.

Our creative endeavors and curiosities are guideposts. Our soul speaks to us to help guide.

I have derived how to understand the language and would love to teach, or ignite within you, your own Divine Fusion.

The Divine Fusion webclass is structured as follows and it’s FREE:

Our first class starts Thursday March 8th and will recur every Thursday on (March 15th, March 22nd and March 29th). We’ll start at 6:30 p.m. Pacific time. I plan on allowing 2 hours (half for material I’m sharing and half for questions). However, if there is a need to extend the time, that will be evaluated during the class and at the discretion of me (Kristy Maffit ;).

Each webclass will be recorded so that those unable to attend can catch the material on one’s own time.

If you’re feeling the nudge, sign up, it’s my pleasure to guide you with all things Divine!

Click to join: Class has finished. But stay tuned as it’ll be back next Fall <3

Categories: Writings

Tagged: conscious living, divine fusion, intuition, soul, spirituality

Brave Fear

Kristy

Posted on February 16, 2018

Do you have fears? What ifs and bungee cords holding you back from where you want to go or who you’d like to be? Do they stem from the past? Or are they potentials you feel looming in the future?

I have fears too. I shared a post about following your joy, and it’s so important to crack open the moments you live to find the inner light to guide. That is the deepest anchor you can find to help you on your way.

But that’s not meant to negate inner fears that can rear their ugly head too.

When I was little I was bit by a goose on my thumb. I was bout 5 years old and at Woodland Park in Kalispell, Montana. I attended the Montessori school across the street and we’d often traverse the cross walk in a line, holding hands with are partner, ready for play time.

Woodland park held so many adventures: many play structures complete with jungle gyms, even a hidden one in the trees, soccer fields, ponds that would freeze in the winter – perfect for ice skating and when melted the habitat for many birds, moon rocks – well that’s what we kids called them as they looked extra-terrestrial, a swimming pool and bird reserve.

It was here that I was minding my own business, possibly feeding ducks bread (we didn’t know that wasn’t best for them back in the 80’s) and a white goose with a carrot orange beak came up and bit me. Just like that. I didn’t do anything. After being bit I was terrified it would happen again. I’d walk around them with my thumbs tucked into my hands.

Every day I go out and run along the Columbia river there are geese lounging on the river banks. Now these are Canadian geese, but still… geese are geese and a whole gaggle of them watching me with their beady eyes as I run passed stirs the fear: what if one bites me?

It’s been decades since that first bite and I have not been bitten since, however, the memory of such is instilled in my brain like a red flag alerting me to danger.

We’re designed to be like this as it’s part of survival; our brains have a negativity bias. I don’t remember the thousands of geese I’ve walked passed without being bit.

I remember the one that bit me. And if I let that experience, that fear, stop me, I’d lose out on doing the many things I like to do that have gaggles of geese lounging around.

But y’all might be like: so what, a goose biting isn’t the same as the types of fears I face.

And I get you. But what I’ve come to understand is that you can run away from your fears or you can face them, brave them, and find out what resides on the other side.

A few fears that I had to face to get to the other side were getting pregnant after my miscarriage. If I let the fear of losing another baby keep me from trying again, I wouldn’t have my daughter. And she brings so much joy and light to my life (balanced with the frustrating inability to brush her hair and teeth in the morning in a timely manner!)

Another fear is that I’m divorced. I tried and it didn’t work out. That put a crevice in my heart. One that I wasn’t sure would ever feel whole again. But I found myself falling in love with another and that relationship brought me so much that I never thought possible between partners; my heart anchored within myself as a result knowing that no matter where I go I have love – my own love- guiding me.

Lastly, my writing. I used to write poems or in my journal and then let the cover close only to collect dust. Putting it out here, is a fear as you never know how it’ll be received. But the joy in expressing how I feel and sharing stories with others outweighs any potential negative feedback. And, honestly, I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.

Brave fear is a concept a friend of mine, Brianne Dosier at Brightly & Co shared with me during her Immerseive Mastermind. It really resonated with me as it’s not about pretending you don’t have fears, but braving them and following where they may lead if you bring what I like to call Coeurage (Coeur/heart + courage) with you.

Life isn’t without risks, our hearts aren’t meant to be closed off, our fears are guideposts and our joy our inner guiding light.

There are healthy fears like bears or lurkers on a dark alleyway. And then there are the fears that if braved, help pave the way to realized dreams and potentials that exist within each of us.

We are more resilient than we think. We have the ability to crack our hearts open and allow expansion in new experiences and growth.

What fears will you brave today?

I’ll meet you on the other side <3

Categories: Writings

Tagged: Brave Fear, Coeurage, courage, Daring Greatly, fear

Peaks and Valleys

Kristy

Posted on February 13, 2018

Glacier Park has always been a family favorite. With its high mountain peaks married with deep valleys named by the ice masses slowly carving the rocky facades down over time. We owned a cabin, built by my Grandpa Fay, tucked into a grassy meadow across from the North Fork River.

In exchange for building the other cabins in Havretown, the name of this crop of homes away from home, the landowners annexed a parcel of land with just enough space for our modest three-room cabin. It was just off the main road, passed the Ranger’s station, after a log gate and paddle lock, where we’d wind our way in our green Toyota wagon on a dirt path until we reached the second cabin in. The first owned by Mr. Walsh. It was two stories with a large propane tank that looked like an overgrown pig. His was the only cabin you could see from ours, and was accessible from the main road. Ours tucked further in with a few rows of ponderosa pine separating the road from the back of the cabin. It was small, but we didn’t need much space.

The front door opened to the grand room with large rustic dining table on the left used for cribbage and meals, in the center, against the back wall, a few double beds for us kids and to the right, an orange vinyl couch and worn brown chair with the springs poking up through the fabric in the seat placed strategically to look out the large windows, and a stump we used for a side table. In the back, the kitchen had a large wood stove, white cabinets with saucer-sizedchrome handles and a window shade with a large claw mark from the only bear to ever force its way in, leaving proof after-the-fact, and the master bedroom with a wrought iron bed for my parents. The kitchen had a screen door that opened onto a large wooden-slated porch that moaned in protest when walked upon.

To the left was a fire pit for roasting marshmallows and hot dogs on a stick, directly in back, a green rusted swing set, the outhouse and to the back right, a garage filled with carpenter tools, logs for the woodstove, and spare junk. We hefted water in pails, pumped from the water well that had to be primed before any would come back up and always tasted faintly of bleach, into the cabin for baths and washing dishes.

We came every summer as we lived only an hour’s drive away. When my Aunt Korrene came, she would take me out to the meadow and teach me the names of the wildflowers. I’d dutifully pick one bloom and press it between the pages of my beloved book-of-the-moment; careful to preserve each petal. I adored this pace as a kid where nature was the teacher and the adults a guide. I was given the freedom to roam and explore. I could feel the magic as I’d relax into the green rusted swing and pump my legs hard and fast hoping I’d sprout wings and fly high into the sapphire sky.

In 1988 we lost our cabin to one of the largest forest fires the park had ever seen. The flames burned so hot the thick-paned windows crumbled into balls and fell exactly where the windows would’ve been. The foundation the only other remnant left.

Glacier Park remained a favorite vacation spot for my family. We would make the trek yearly around the Fourth of July for the parade and festivities. We’d either pitch a tent in one of the campgrounds, or rent a cabin in Polebridge, Montana.

Polebridge has its own mystique with only two commercial buildings: The Northern Lights Saloon and the General Mercantile; a large red building with a hitching post outside and white letters large enough to be read half a mile down the washboard dirt road. Not much changed on the outside as time passed, but the inside went through transformation with each new owner and the varying needs of those stopping by.

As we each went off to college, rounding us all up for a vacation was difficult, but in 2010 we all met-up to enjoy another July 4^Th. My parents, me with my husband and little girl, Marlie, my sister Jamie with her live-in sweetie, Justin, and the youngest sister Allie stayed in the four cabins available for rent near the mercantile. It was July 5^th and Justin’s birthday.

“Happy Birthday, Justin.” We chorused. He, with the help of Marlie in his lap, blew out the multi-colored candles in the huckleberry pie my mother made. Her pies were delicious, starting with hand-picked plump huckleberries frozen the year prior, as they’re not quite ripe until late in the summer season, ending with a hand-made pie crust dusted with cinnamon and sugar; the juices bubbled up at the sides. It looked rustic but I knew it would taste divine despite being pretty sure Marlie spat on a few candles when blowing them out; in being two, she can get away with it.

“Thank you, guys.” Justin replied. “This looks delicious, Joann!” He grinned, eyeing the pie over Marlie’s head, his height giving him the advantage. And even though we were camping, his looked like a rockstar with his copper hair defying gravity and layers upon layers of black clothing in contrast with his light skin. He’s drummer like my husband and my dad. Freud would have a field day with that one. Marlie squirmed in his lap, her blonde cherub curls bouncing as she licked the huckleberry juice off each candle. I cringed hoping she wouldn’t wipe each little sausage finger, now stained bright purple, on her bright green jacket. I don’t know why, but motherhood was equal parts wonder and frustration with the mess and uncertainty for me.

“I’ll cut the pie,” Jamie said. She pulled out a large chef’s knife from the kitchen tub nearby then sliced the pie into eighths. “Who wants a piece?” She asked.

Allie was in a deep conversation with my husband; the brother she never had she told me after they bonded the first moment they met. My stomach flipped. I felt my throat close a bit from the faint smell of smoke of the extinguished candles caught in my throat. I needed fresh air. Now.

“I’m going to the porch,” I said, grasping the cool metal knob, “I’ll have a piece of pie after my lungs catch a break.” I slipped out and shut the door quickly not wanting anyone to follow.

I needed space. I needed to clear my head. I needed to breathe.

I sat down on the white plastic lawn chair at the edge of the porch and stared out at the inked sky glittering like a geode cracked open. Space, I sighed. I searched the starry sky, looking for the Little Dipper, a habit to anchor myself with the North Star. My guide. My mother appeared, she had a habit of showing up unannounced, always knowing when something was up with one of her kids, and sat down in the plastic adirondak chair next to me.

“I’m going to file for divorce.” I said, surprising myself to hear it out loud. The words had bounced around my head for the past three days of vacation. It wasn’t just the smoke suffocating me. I needed out. I needed space. I didn’t know how I would go about it, I just knew it needed to happen.

“Too controlling?” My mom looked over at me, her eyes shining in the moonlight.

“Yes,” I replied, surprised that she had noticed. I thought I kept up the picture-perfect marriage image.

“I’ve been there.” She said, her hands folded in her lap, her lined face holding so many answers to questions floating around in my mind. But in that moment, I knew we were different too. I had my own set of circumstances and choices.

And I had made mine.

Sometimes what is right, isn’t always the easiest. My cousin shared those words with me later at a Christmas dinner, only I didn’t feel the significance until I looked back at this time; the moment my future unfolded in front of me and I knew I needed to go right where I had previously gone left which ended up feeling so wrong.

How do I find that young girl enamored with nature, open hearted with wonder and pumping her legs on the swing hoping to catch flight into the sapphire sky? I knew she had to be somewhere inside as she is a part of me, even if deeply buried beneath years of disconnect.

I can say now, the path back to connecting with all the parts of you that unfold through time like paper dolls in a chain, it’s riddled with grief and pain and joy and love in finally remembering who you already were before everyone else told you who you needed to be.

Categories: Writings

Tagged: childhood, Divorce, Glacier Park, memoir

Two wills one boat.

Kristy

Posted on January 22, 2018

I recently kayaked down the Smith River coursing through Redwoods National Park. My daughter and I were in one kayak intent to get downstream in one piece.

It sounded easier than it played out.

She’s nine, has never paddled and somehow was able to completely counteract all my efforts. Whether turning, slowing down, guiding us through rapids, it didn’t matter what I did, she somehow countered it and we’d drift aimlessly downstream.

I was so frustrated, and afraid, that I asked her to stop paddling through the still waters and the rapids.

These were easier grade rapids, but that didn’t matter. I was gripping my oars, worried about what lurked around the corner. I had never been here before, nor kayaked.

Sure there were others with us, two guides even, but I felt like it was up to me alone to steer clear amongst the fallen trees, boulders and currents pulling you into the various nooks and crannies where you could get you stuck.

It hit me about half way: Two wills, one boat.

We enjoyed the beautiful scenery, but every time I reminded her to not paddle, she’d set her paddle down and slump her shoulders a little bit. I ignored it as this was about safety. But I knew there was a better way that would require loosening my grip and allowing help.

About midway into the ride, she fell in a few times. And by fall in I mean leaned out so far to feel the rapids with her hands as she slipped right into the warm water.

I found myself face-to-face with one of my worst fears: Tipping over or one of us falling in.

Mamma mode kicked in and I grabbed her and held her close to the boat. With help, we hoisted her back into the kayak. The other time she jumped in as she accidently knocked her oars off the kayak, and swam back and we pulled her in again.

She loved it, smiling wide and soaked through. Me I was finally breathing deeply and beginning to enjoy our trip down the Smith. She reminds me all the time to truly be present and adventurous.

When we had a good enough smooth stretch of water, I decided to teach her the mechanics of paddling. I shared that I’m bigger and move slower and deeper so we need to synchronize to work together. I demonstrated the different paddle strokes and the motion it made with the kayak.

I even let her paddle alone a bit to get a feel for it.

We ended up coming up on a rapid where I soon realized I needed her help. So I asked her to paddle. She was elated. And to be completely honest we wouldn’t have made it through without her help.

She likes to share the story about how she helped paddle through the rapids in our kayak and that we wouldn’t have made it without her help.

The flow of the river was guiding us regardless, sure there were tough patches, but we were going to make it downstream one way or another with minimal effort if I wasn’t white-knuckling it all so bad.

But the path of the kayak was dependent on the two wills, and whether or not they’d work together.

We each have two wills. We have our self-will and our divine-will.

Divine will connects to the larger picture. It’s not about getting there as fast as you can, but ensuring you’ve encountered all transformative parts as it’s about growth just as much as producing, creating, or getting “there”.

Your self-will can often be about action, doing it alone, going about the way or path pioneered by others.

When you can align both, you can forge your own path, the one that sprouts from inside out.

Categories: Writings

Tagged: Alignment, Flow, purpose

Follow your joy

Kristy

Posted on January 17, 2018

Note: left pic is filter on FB live – I don’t normally wear a tiara. On the right is an older pic and not the best quality (ahem, no digital back then). Both smiles are pure me.

I was reminded tonight how often we can stress or overly identify with no pain no gain. When did the notion sprout that what naturally lights us up, our joy, isn’t the guideposts for the right now’s and the next steps?

Instead of tapping into what flows, naturally from what feels right, we plan and calculate and goal post. We mistrust that we know the way. We cut ourself off from the very well-spring that guides us, always.

This isn’t to say you won’t ride passed the edge of ease as you lean into what you desire to learn or experience, courting discomfort. However, at the same time you will feel the flow even then if you open up to allow yourself to really connect and express.

This pic is of me leaning into the knowing that I needed to work on getting comfortable in videos. Live videos to be exact. The thought, previously, made me want to vomit. So yeah, not so much joy in thinking about it, however, when I allowed myself to get out of my head and let the words sift up, I forgot all the perceptions about how it’ll be received and simply gave.

I gave my words, my thoughts and my stories. Me. And I loved it.

I started small, only going live in a small private Facebook group. Then I expanded to a larger Facebook group I created for Forty Mornings. I, finally, went live on my profile page and have many more to come as video is a better way to connect.

What I love about videos is it’s a stream of photos and you can’t always see how you “look”. But if you take screen shots you can see all the goofy and weird expressions you make.

Sometimes, like the above, you see a wide smile slip that reminds you of the smiles you used to share when younger. Proof of the pure unencumbered joy within complete with a toothy grin and dimpled cheeks.

Today I met up with a local artist, Rachael Rice, to discuss cover art for my book: Forty Mornings. It wasn’t a goal or anything planned other than I adore her work; it brings me joy. The idea surfaced to have her help create a cover. So I reached out and I’m so thankful I followed that even though I know nothing about commissioning art work for a project.

Tonight I participated in a live Intuition Intensive with Jess Lively. I didn’t have this on my list of things to do in 2018, I simply read the email and received a few nudges. I knew being on camera as she probed my intuition wouldn’t be comfortable as folks watched, but still I listened and showed up. Something was pulling me there even if I logically didn’t understand why.

You might say, “But where is the joy in that? You didn’t feel comfortable?”

The truth is, when I slipped out of the thoughts about what others thought and settled into chatting about what came through as well as the topics I adore around consciousness and healing, I understood it was for those moments of our cracked open hearts and minds connecting, that pulled me in. I radiated my presence. I wore my joy.

There is a part of us that knows, inherently, where to go and how to go about doing it and it doesn’t have to hurt or bog us down.

There is no slogging with soul.

There may be discomfort but often if you can recline in your mind and allow yourself to open up the sliding door and allow how you really feel, not think, but feel shine through you’ll be surprised at what really lights you up; what brings you joy.

I believe joy is our soul smiling. Why wouldn’t you lead with that?

You don’t have to personally develop yourself, you don’t have to finish x,y, or z, you don’t need to heal or let go.

You already are who you need to be right now. Relax into that. Breathe. Then show up for what calls you and let yourself open to and follow your joy.

Categories: Writings

Tagged: Inspiration, intuition, joy, soul

Trust and Emerge

Kristy

Posted on January 8, 2018

I’m sitting here at my dining table sipping coffee through a straw because it’s too painful to press my lips to the side of the coffee cup. My lips have swollen three times their size.

I’ve had this happen before. I get super stressed, which causes a canker sore which gets infected and spreads to both lips. I end up looking like a woman who recently received lip fillers only I have a few lesions on top of the stuffed-sausage look.

The last time this happened, I was given the news I had to rebuild about 17 Neonatal Intensive Care (NICU) Order sets within a month. I’m a pharmacist, among many things, and build medication orders for the hospitals in my region. NICU orders are for itty bitty babies born prematurely. They often have complications and need extra special care.

The stress for that was understandable. Compound that with the fact I was leaving soon after the NICU would open on a trip to Thailand so if any issues arose, I’d be gone.

I normally can handle my stress well, but there can be times it spins out of control and I reap the negative benefit.

This time? This time it’s not only stress for work or home life. It’s the addition of the “how” in putting a launch, eCourse and all the necessary bits and pieces together to have a flawless and ease-filled process.

The thing is I’ve never done this before and systems and processes, when they don’t relate to EPIC -the Healthcare computer system I work in- I get overly stressed wanting to understand it all.

I then realize there are exactly 10000 ways to do it and while I only need to pick one, the possibilities swim around in my head. And I think about it. And think about it. And think about it.

Thoughts can be the path to amazing realizations or it can be a loop where you keep repeating the same over and over again.

I’ve leaned on my intuitiveness to help guide me through this whole process from writing a story to seeking to understand myself and the world as it abounds. I’ve sought to understand how I know things about myself and others. How I can feel so much.

I’ve studied spirituality, New Age practices, religion and how they’re more alike that different.

I meditate, sometimes. I breathe deeply, eat well and move my body. I check for resonance with things and observe versus react.

And yet, mastering all of these or having the awareness of these, doesn’t always deflect the inevitable thought storm coming my way.

While I was flowing with the what, the when and even the steps to prepare me and aligned with the changes and decisions I needed to make in my life to create space for what I wanted to create.

When it came to the how… I misplaced my trust, my faith, my openness to receive the steps for a bit.

Even while I was still guided as I naturally figured out IG stories, and oracle card readings (more on that later) . She was still there helping me even though consciously I was having my own little battle.

There are phrases like upper limiting or self-sabotage. And I’m sure some would categorize these events as such. Well, not the NICU part as I wasn’t trying to step into a new role or aspect of life and myself. That was work and the vice like grip and pressure I can put on myself.

This time, it is a HUGE step for me + the vice like grip and pressure I put on myself. And when I have events like this I wonder, “Why in the hell would anyone want to be guided by me when my own stressful thoughts can get the better of me?”

The truth is, it’s the folks who know my intuitive nature, my ability to connect deeply within myself and within others to bring forth all that’s calling, nudging or asking you to show up and be yourself in life who also simultaneously see how I, too, am walking this life side-by-side and soul-to-soul that I want to draw towards my offerings.

The folks who can simultaneously see my virtues and my flaws, my divinity and my humanity… those are the folks I’d love to guide.

Because the moment we lose sight of being human, it is the moment we lose part of our self that is just as true as our spirit or soul.

The image in this post is from New Year’s Day. It’s my daughter riding her scooter into the light.

If you’re curious how to move from the dark towards the light, to emerge, and understand that I am walking this path by your side, connected in soul. I’m the guide for you.

Stay tuned as I’ll be sharing more about Divine Fusion and how to sign up for my beta course beginning in February in the weeks to come.

Categories: Writings

Tagged: Divinity, intuition, Mindset, Trust

Be the bright constellation of all your hopes and dreams.

A Renaissance Glow

Kristy

Posted on March 5, 2018

Eight years ago armed with my insatiable desire to know this vast realm of unknowns, I opened up wide to take in all there is out there. Reading, sharing, holding difficult conversations and others that lit me up.

Our creative endeavors and curiosities are guideposts. Our soul speaks to us to help guide.

I have derived how to understand the language and would love to teach, or ignite within you, your own Divine Fusion.

If you’re spirit is nudging you and you’d like to join, click here.

Divine Fusion

Kristy

Posted on March 1, 2018

My intention with Divine Fusion is to take this relationship and break it down into practical steps to help share with those seeking such connections.

The moments you pause and listen, are the moments you truly can transform your life, yourself and set yourself on the path designed just for you.

Write a story about angels, I thought.

How could that happen?

How can that be so?

But two halves don’t always make a whole, when their intersecting edges no longer align.

Our creative endeavors and curiosities are guideposts. Our soul speaks to us to help guide.

Click to join: Class has finished. But stay tuned as it’ll be back next Fall <3

Brave Fear

Kristy

Posted on February 16, 2018

Peaks and Valleys

Kristy

Posted on February 13, 2018

Two wills one boat.

Kristy

Posted on January 22, 2018

Follow your joy

Kristy

Posted on January 17, 2018

Trust and Emerge

Kristy

Posted on January 8, 2018

Posted on March 5, 2018

Eight years ago armed with my insatiable desire to know this vast realm of unknowns, I opened up wide to take in all there is out there. Reading, sharing, holding difficult conversations and others that lit me up.

Our creative endeavors and curiosities are guideposts. Our soul speaks to us to help guide.

I have derived how to understand the language and would love to teach, or ignite within you, your own Divine Fusion.

If you’re spirit is nudging you and you’d like to join, click here.

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Posted on March 1, 2018

My intention with Divine Fusion is to take this relationship and break it down into practical steps to help share with those seeking such connections.

The moments you pause and listen, are the moments you truly can transform your life, yourself and set yourself on the path designed just for you.

Write a story about angels, I thought.

How could that happen?

How can that be so?

But two halves don’t always make a whole, when their intersecting edges no longer align.

Our creative endeavors and curiosities are guideposts. Our soul speaks to us to help guide.

Click to join: Class has finished. But stay tuned as it’ll be back next Fall <3

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Posted on February 16, 2018

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Posted on February 13, 2018

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Posted on January 22, 2018

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Posted on January 17, 2018

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Posted on January 8, 2018

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